Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#649 Define Your Problems Clearly

Every problem can be looked at in many ways. Your perspective will either make a solution easier to find or make it more difficult. The Sages say: "The question of a wise person is half a response." That is, the very way that the wise person formulates the question points us in the direction of a solution.

Whenever you are in a dilemma or in the middle of a problem, think about the best way to phrase your question. This applies not only when you ask your question to someone else, but even when you pose a question to yourself.

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#650 Repetition Makes it Real

If you want a concept to become part of your habitual thought process, keep repeating it to yourself again and again. Even though you might not gain a deeper understanding of the concept, the constant repetition enables you to internalize it until it becomes part of your own way of thinking.

The Talmud relates that Rabbi Prayda had a student who needed to hear a lesson 400 times until he comprehended it. Rabbi Moshe Rosenstein used to say that when it comes to elevating our attitudes, we are all the same as that student. If we sincerely want to integrate a new attitude, we need to repeat it over and over again. Even if a person is highly intelligent, unless he reviews the concepts hundreds of times, they will not be properly ingrained.

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#651 This World is like a Dream

A group of people lost a large amount of money. There was one person in the group who was still happy, even though the others were miserable over their loss. The others asked him how he could be so happy while they were so sad.

He replied, "I'll give you an analogy. A person once came into a room where a few people were sleeping. The sleepers were dreaming nightmares and cried in their sleep. The person who was awake did not join them in their crying for he realized it was merely a dream. Similarly, I realize this world is like a dream. People upset over worldly matters are as in the midst of a nightmare. I am awake, and cognizant of how illusory worldly suffering really is."

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#652 Watch for Positive Occurrences

Take note of any positive occurrence that happens to you and give thanks to the Almighty for it.

Some common examples: your eyeglasses fall to the ground and do not break, or you find something you'd been missing.

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#653 Be Grateful You Didn't

When a shirt falls from a high place, there are some people who say, "I am grateful I was not in that shirt." At first glance, this seems like a very odd thing to say. But after some thought we can see it makes sense. Human beings are susceptible to all sorts of diseases and accidents. Many things can harm a person. Even a person walking on solid ground can trip and break a limb. Someone could choke on his food. With imagination you can picture events that have remote possibilities of actually happening.

A wise person is constantly aware of his lack of power to protect himself and realizes how easily he can be harmed. When he observes something falling, he is immediately aware that he could easily fall down, too. This serves as a reminder that he should be grateful to the Almighty for guarding him and keeping him alive. The main desire of each and every person is to live a life of happiness. This is the underlying motivation behind diversions such as games and music. Why should the art of feeling joy that potential harm did not happen be less than the art of enjoying music? The person who can feel joy because he is not ill or injured lives a happy life.

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#654 Learn to say, "I Don't Know"

By learning to reply, "I don't know," you will save yourself from embarrassment.

When you try to answer something you are not certain about, you are setting a trap for yourself. You hesitate to say, "I don't know," because you fear disapproval. But if others find out you gave them misinformation, you will suffer even more disapproval.

Consciously make an effort to say, "I don't know," whenever you are unsure. Write a list of times when you answered, even though you did not know if what you were saying was true.

When you say something wrong, admit to people that you made a mistake. If you have the courage to do this, you will no longer fear saying, "I don't know."

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#655 Consulting Others

One might expect that a wise person to whom people come for advice would rely on his own wisdom and not feel a need to consult others. Whereas a fool should realize he frequently makes mistakes and should therefore seek counsel from others before taking action.

In reality, it is just the opposite. The wise person, though justified in relying on his own judgment, nevertheless listens to the advice of others. He realizes his biases and prejudices might cause him to make errors in his own matters. The fool, however, who should realize how often he makes mistakes, considers himself wise and does not listen to what others have to say.

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#656 More Pain for Others

Rabbi Mendel of Vorki required surgery on his finger. Although no anesthetics were available, Rabbi Mendel calmly sat through the operation without a sound.

After the operation, the doctor remarked how astounded he was for someone to be so calm. "He reacted as if it were not his finger. He felt no pain whatsoever."

Rabbi Mendel observed: "He doesn't understand. When a person comes and tells me his financial difficulties, even if he does not always act as properly as he should, I feel much more pain and suffering than when they operated on my finger."

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#657 Impart Serenity to Others

When you become calm and serene, others may ask you how you do it. Then you will have opportunities to do acts of kindness for them which they will then be able to pass on to others.

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#658 Preempt Your Fears

"If you have something negative about yourself that you wish to share with others, take the initiative to say it right from the beginning." (Talmud - Baba Kama 92b)

This is an effective tool to use when it comes to overcoming needless fears of other people. If you want to ask a question and are afraid that someone will become angry at you, at times it's worthwhile to start off, "I would like to ask you a question, but I am afraid to ask."

Most people will reply, "You don't need to be afraid. Feel free to ask."

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#659 Learn Courage From Others

From this moment, every new act of courage you see, hear or read about can be viewed as part of your lifetime program of learning how to act with courage.

You will be more aware of this attribute wherever you are and wherever you go. You will observe what you would have missed out on, had you not been viewing the courage of others as your model to learn from.

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#660 En-Courage Others

When you build up your own courage, you will be able to serve as a coach to others. Some of the best courage coaches are those who had to struggle to attain the courage they now have. Since it didn't come easy to them, they know what it's like to lack the courage to do what others consider easy.

If you don't yet have the courage you would like, let the knowledge that you will inevitably be able to help others serve as a further motivation to increase your own courage.

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#661 Worry About Others

Everyone can find things to worry about. Fortunate is the person who worries about other people, for he will be free from personal worries.

Altruistic worrying about the welfare of others may cause you some pain, but unlike personal worries, it will not destroy the essential quality of your life.

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#662 Pray For Others

Pray for the welfare of others, even when they are not aware you are praying for them.

Every person we meet has needs for which we can pray: success in spiritual matters, success in financial matters, good health, a good marriage, raising children properly.

Saying a quiet prayer for the people you meet, even complete strangers, will give you positive feelings toward them. Through this, you have as much to gain as the recipient of your prayers.

ps:

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#663 Bless Others

Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel of Slobodka would sometimes sit near the window of his house and quietly bestow blessings and prayers on all those who passed by.

Once when Rabbi Finkel was walking down the street, he turned toward a house and said, "Good morning." Rabbi Finkel explained: "Most people only wish someone a good morning when they see them face to face. But even when we do not see them, we should still develop good will toward them."

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#664 Bounce Love Off Others

King Solomon wrote: "As water reflects a face back to face, so too one's heart is reflected back to him by another" (Proverbs 27:19).

We all want others to be friendly and kind to us. The behavior of others is not in our direct control, but our own behavior is. We play a large role in creating the world we live in, especially how others will behave toward us. If you behave toward others in a positive manner, they are much more likely to reciprocate.

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#665 Make Room for Others

An arrogant person demands that others behave in the manner he wishes. This frequently causes resentment, especially if others perceive his demands as arbitrary and unreasonable.

A person with humility gets along well with others because he is flexible and considerate of others. He will not push people around just for the sake of feeling power and authority. Being with him is a pleasurable experience.

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#666 Learn to Cheer Up Others

The Chafetz Chaim wrote: "When you see that someone is sad, there is an obligation to try to console him. This is a fulfillment of the mitzvah (good deed) of comforting mourners, which includes helping anyone overcome emotional suffering."

For this reason, even if you do not become sad easily, still try to find beneficial ideas for overcoming sadness. Although you might not need them, others will -- and you will be doing an act of kindness by helping them.

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#667 Act On Your Fears

Make an effort to do the actions you fear to do and by this means lessen those fears. Think of a specific fear that stops you from doing something that would be beneficial for you to do, and take action.

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#668 Quitters can be Winners

"Quitters are losers!"

This is frequently true, but not always. Of course it's a mistake to quit prematurely. But at times, quitters will be winners since they devote their newfound time, money, and energy on a project that seems more likely to succeed.

Weigh the entire picture to figure out your best course of action. But don't let fear of quitting lead you in the wrong direction.

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#669 Stare Wars

The more comfortable one feels about oneself, the less being stared at will be considered a problem. In reality, there is no practical difference if one walks down an empty street or a street full of people staring.

Those with vivid imaginations have the ability to imagine that the streets are full of people cheering and wishing one well. For those who might argue that this is not real, neither is being intimidated by being stared at. The main difference is that the cheering imagery is much more enjoyable than experiencing anxiety because of others' stares.

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#670 Rejoicing for Others

When we are personally suffering, and then invited to take part in someone's joyous occasion, we should make a special effort to put our suffering aside and rejoice in the other's good fortune. This is very difficult and takes much strength. Exactly for this reason, it is so elevating.

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#671 Find Merit in Others

The Almighty loves those who constantly find merit in others.

Right now, think of someone you have been critical of. Now find something meritorious about that person.

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The Almighty loves those who constantly find merit in others.

AMEN to that!

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#672 It's In Your Mind

Self-confidence is created and stored in your mind. What is wonderful about this is that your mind is always with you, day and night and in all seasons, wherever you go.

Everyone has moments of self-confidence There are memories of self-confidence stored in every person's brain. This is true of every person alive. And it is true for you.

All your positive experiences of self-confidence are recorded in your brain.