Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#527 Whom Do You Want To Be?

What kind of person do you really want to be?

Writing this in the form of a mission statement or essay has a powerful effect on one's self-image. The act of writing that you want to be "kind" and "compassionate" motivates positive action.

Actually, the question "What kind of person are you?" is answered by the way you speak to others and what you do for them.

[phkrause]

#528 Grow From Your Daily Routine

Character is developed one positive action at a time. Therefore nothing is actually trivial in our lives. To grow in character development, pay attention to seemingly trivial matters. Someone who grows from each minor life event will eventually reach high levels of character perfection.

Today, think about one character trait that you can develop further by paying close attention to a seemingly trivial aspect of your daily routine.

[phkrause]

#529 Virtues are Gifts of the Almighty

Ultimately, any virtue a person has is a gift from the Almighty.

If a person has nothing of his own and someone gives him a present, he does not feel arrogant. It was an act of kindness and he feels fortunate to receive it. This will be the attitude of anyone whose eyes are open and who sees the reality of his own human frailty, yet was fortunate to receive the kindness of the Almighty.

A person with true humility has these behavioral aspects:

- He speaks in a pleasant manner to all people.

- He does not insult others or put them down.

- His posture and mannerisms are in the average range - neither boisterous nor meek. - He is willing to sit next to simple people and not only those he considers important.

- He is able to tolerate the slights and insults of others.

- He flees from personal honor.

- He shows honor and respect to every human being - both in speech and behavior.

Today, ask yourself: "What am I most proud of?" View it as a special gift from the Creator to you. This will give you a more profound appreciation, and a greater sense of humility.

[phkrause]

#530 Wish for the Good of Others

When you envy the good fortune of others, you destroy your own happiness and wellbeing.

On the other hand, when you sincerely wish for the welfare of others, you make others feel good, and you yourself live a good life.

Today, undertake to give a blessing of good wishes to five people.

[phkrause]

#531 Enjoy the Success of Others

Feeling joy when someone else studies Torah shows a sincere appreciation of Torah - rather than concern for personal gain.

Anyone who loves Torah will be full of happiness and joy when he sees a budding scholar who can be compared to a beautiful tree which will soon give off sweet fruit.

[phkrause]

#532 The Joy of Giving to Others

Whenever you help another person in any way, take pleasure and feel joy that you are fulfilling the commandment of "Love your neighbor."

It is especially important to express feelings of joy when giving charity to a poor person. In fact, showing displeasure when giving charity erases the merit of the giving!

[phkrause]

#533 Tailor your Advice to the Situation

If someone solicits your advice, ask yourself, "How would I feel if I were in this person's situation?" Try to really empathize.

Furthermore, keep in mind that each individual is unique. Take this person's personality, life situation, and resources into consideration before giving advice. (If this seems like a big task, that's because it is!)

[Naomi]

Excellent advice

[phkrause]

#534 Honor the Person, Not the Money

You should show honor and respect to every person you meet, regardless of whether they are wealthy or poor. The only difference between a wealthy person and a poor person is in the amount of money they have. But both are created in the image of the Almighty, and when we honor people we are ultimately honoring the Creator.

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#535 An Emergency Tool For The Sensitive

At times there is so much suffering in the world that a sensitive person finds it difficult to tolerate. The Brisker Rav, Rabbi Yitzhak Zev Soloveitchik, applied the following Talmudic statement as his advice for such people in such times: "He who wants to live should act as if he were dead."

There are times when human suffering is so great that a person who feels the suffering of others will simply not be able to continue living. While we have an obligation to feel the suffering of others, we should protect ourselves from overdoing it and destroying ourselves.

At times, said the Brisker Rav, we should adopt an attitude as if we were no longer alive and only then will we be able to exist.

[phkrause]

#536 Obstacles In Helping Others

Don't regret good deeds when you end up suffering. In every business there are negative aspects. When you do acts of kindness, realize in advance there are likely to be some unpleasant aspects and accept them.

Realize that when you help others you are helping yourself. You will find it easier to tolerate difficulties.

[phkrause]

#537 Write The Story Of Your Life

Write The Story Of Your Life

View each day as a page in your autobiography.

You have the ability to fill each page with beautiful stories of spiritual growth and kind deeds. Past pages are already written, but you can revise their significance by learning from your mistakes. In a panoramic view of your life, those mistakes become stepping stones for growth.

Future pages are not yet ready to be written. Only the present pages are before you. You have the opportunity to be the author of a masterpiece which describes the life of a great person: you.

[phkrause]

#538 Peace of Mind Leads to Love

Only when a person has peace of mind can he really feel love for humanity. Lack of peace of mind leads to animosity towards others. Peace of mind leads to love.

Only if a person has peace of mind will he be able to pass the test of dealing properly with other people. He will be able to kindhearted to everyone. His peace of mind will enable him to tolerate others and be patient with them.

[phkrause]

#539 Compose an Appreciation List

One way to build up a positive mental data base about your spouse is to compose an "appreciation list."

Every time your spouse says or does something you appreciate write it down. Then keep rereading your list. As you focus on the positive actions of your spouse, you will notice things that you previously had taken for granted and overlooked. Moreover, your positive feelings will create an atmosphere in which your spouse will say and do more positive things!

[phkrause]

#540 Start by Admitting your Mistakes

When someone is angry at you, organize wisely what you wish to say. Begin speaking in a manner that is likely to have a calming effect. For example, begin by admitting your own mistakes. When you start off in an appeasing manner, the person will pay more attention to your words, and this will prevent him from causing you harm or loss.

We find an example when Abigail successfully calmed down King David, who was furious at her husband (see Shmuel 1, 25:25). She began by admitting that she herself had made an error. Only then did she present her arguments to King David. When you concede that you are wrong, others calm down.

When someone is angry at you, and you start out by either blaming him or denying it, you will usually increase the person's anger. If you want someone's anger to escalate, the best way to do this is to either say: "It's your fault, not mine."

It takes courage to admit your own mistakes. Even if you are only responsible in a small way, it is still best to start off by saying something like, "Yes, I could (or should) have done differently. I'm sorry for any pain or inconvenience I have caused you."

This will put the other person in a calmer state, and he will then be much more likely to listen to what you have to say in your own defense.

[phkrause]

#541 Don't Dwell on Past Misfortunes

The nature of a person is that when he talks about past misfortunes and suffering, he presently experiences more suffering.

A person who constantly thinks about misfortunes of the past causes unnecessary sadness. In the extreme, after one unfortunate event a person can make himself unhappy his entire life -- because he always tells himself how awful life is since that event occurred.

Do not overly dwell on past misfortunes, and you will save yourself much unhappiness.

[phkrause]

#542 Discover your Faults in Others

Whenever you notice a fault in another person, check where you have that fault yourself. We have a strong tendency to notice our own faults in others. This awareness gives us many opportunities to learn about our own shortcomings -since it is easier to recognize a fault in someone else than in ourselves."

What fault do you commonly notice in other people? In what ways do you have that fault yourself?

Use this awareness as a tool to stop yourself from speaking against others. Who would want to speak against others knowing that you are merely drawing attention to that same fault in yourself?!

Today, catch yourself in the act of criticizing others. Then think about the implications for yourself.

[phkrause]

#543 Learn from the Mistakes of Others

Whenever you see that someone has made a mistake, view the situation as a learning experience to prevent yourself from making similar mistakes.

Moreover, utilize this experience to discover what knowledge you may be able to impart to others so they, too, can avoid making similar mistakes.

Today, think of three mistakes you have seen people make recently. In what way have you made similar mistakes?

[phkrause]

#544 Consider the Virtues of Others

Spend time thinking about the virtues of other people. Not merely as a passing thought - but try to feel pleasure in thinking of their virtues.

[phkrause]

#545 Understanding Difficult People

When dealing with a person you find difficult, keep in mind that this person's way of behaving and thinking might be causing him to suffer even more than he is causing you to suffer. See life from his point of view - and be compassionate.

[phkrause]

#546 Study and Emulate Great People

Here is a tool for greatness: Watch a truly righteous person very carefully and observe what he does in order to emulate him.

Today, think of three great people that you know, heard of, or have read about. What can you learn from each one?

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#547 Feel Grateful for every Pleasure

Every single time you have some pleasure, even a very slight one such as gaining a small profit, feel grateful to the Almighty. Every day we have numerous such occasions which are easily overlooked. They are lessons to teach awareness of the Almighty's Divine Providence.

[phkrause]

#548 Bring about Miracles in People's Lives

Be aware of the positive attributes and behaviors of the people with whom you come into contact and help them build upon their strengths. Encouragement is a much more powerful tool for change and growth than blaming and condemning. You can bring about miracles in people's lives if you believe in their potential.

[phkrause]

#549 Tailor your Help to the Person

Be flexible when you try to help someone. If the first strategy you try doesn't seem to work, try another approach. Since every person is unique, different approaches are necessary for different people.

When talking to someone, note the feedback you receive from his slight changes in facial expression. Ask the person how the ideas you are saying sound to him.

If you are not able to help someone, suggest another person who might be able to help him.

ps: kind of reminds me of Paul in the NT

[phkrause]

#550 Acceptance has Curative Powers

Accepting the will of the Almighty when one is ill has curative powers.

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm wrote to an ill person that all doctors advise their patients to have a calm attitude. The question is how a patient can master this attitude. The Sages have shown us the way -- to accept our suffering with joy.

The benefits gained from awareness of the Almighty are exactly what we need for our physical well being. This is what the verse (Chabakuk 2:4) teaches: "The righteous person will live with his belief." Their belief will cause them to live. It will strengthen them and bring them joy. As it says: "The person with a good heart has a continual feast" (Proverbs 15:15).

The Vilna Gaon comments that when a person goes to a party, he might feel happy, but as soon as the party is over the happiness is gone. But a person with a good heart, that is, the right attitudes, is always happy. Awareness of the Almighty gives a person a good heart to understand that whatever happens is God's will. Suffering is meant to be merciful to a person, to arouse him to mend his ways in order that he find eternal pleasure.