Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#478 Draw On Your Experience

In what contexts have you already been patient? Even the most impatient person will be able to think of a few. Realize that you can now access this very same patience in new contexts where you haven't yet been as patient as you would like to be.

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#479 The Kindness of Patience

People hate to be rushed.

Some people are so nervous when others rush them, that they can't think clearly when they need to ask a question or make a request. Tell such a person, "Please take your time. Go at a speed you feel comfortable with." Observe the person and you will notice that there is an immediate reduction in tension.

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#480 Choose Patience

What is the underlying message when someone says, "You cause me to become impatient," or, "This makes me impatient?" The assumption here is that another person or a specific situation is the cause of your impatience.

Actually, impatience is a choice. It is one reaction out of many that can be chosen. If you blame your impatience on an external factor, you are to some degree giving up on your own power to create your reaction. Your reaction in any situation always depends on how you personally and subjectively evaluate and perceive that situation.

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#481 Solicit Advice

We can all benefit from the advice of wise and experienced people. Besides gaining from their knowledge, we can also gain from their objectivity.

Many students could gain a lot from asking advice on how to concentrate better, how to remember better, how to read faster and with greater comprehension. Many parents could gain a lot by asking for advice on how to create a peaceful, harmonious home where they bring out the best in their children.

Many teachers could gain from consulting master teachers with much experience. Many businesspeople and professionals could gain from consulting experts in their field.

Almost everyone could gain by consulting appropriate people about how to become a better person. Have the courage to ask for advice.

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#482 Returning to a Place

If you were once in a place and have been away from it for a while, you can easily build up in your imagination how wonderful it would be to return.

But before deciding to move back, clarify if your feelings are a product of imagination or are based on reality.

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#483 Beware Of Dangerous Places

The Talmud warns us to be careful not to stand in a dangerous place. If this is true with physical dangers, all the more so we should be careful not to be in situations where one's soul is in danger.

Stay away from dangerous spiritual situations. Don't purposely battle your evil inclination face-to-face. Keep as far as possible from any potential temptation to do something improper.

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#484 Be Honest About Your Faults

Approval-seekers feel a necessity to put themselves in a better light than they really are. Because they try to hide their faults, they are nervous about others finding out what they're really like. Their situation is like that of a spy in enemy territory.

If, however, they are honest about their mistakes and faults, they will be much more relaxed. They will also find that others behave more positively toward them for their honesty.

While it is not worthwhile to go to the opposite extreme and tell everyone you meet about your faults, if you stop being defensive about your faults, you will live a more serene life.

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#485 Create A New Habit

When you consistently act a certain way to form a new habit, it will become your new nature even though previously your nature was the opposite.

Think of a specific habit that you can apply this to. Start that new positive habit today. Feel joy for the initiative you are taking.

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#486 Be Carefree Yet Careful

While you should work on overcoming unnecessary worrying, have a healthy fear of danger and sensibly guard yourself from harm. Overcoming worry does not mean putting yourself in danger, but in having a calm attitude in dealing with difficulties and accepting what cannot be changed.

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#487 Heroic Choices, Heroic Life

When you consistently make heroic choices, you create a heroic life.

You are constantly writing your autobiography, even if it isn't written on paper. The choices you make are the material which shape your autobiography. When you make enough heroic choices, you create a heroic masterpiece.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#488 Do More than the Minimum

When a person does more than was expected or demanded of him, that is a sign of love. On the other hand, the surest sign that someone is doing something begrudgingly is when he does the minimum and no extra.

This principle applies to the good deeds we do in helping others. When you take on more than the minimal requirements, it manifests your loving attitude.

Today, think of some area in which you have been trying to just "get by" with the minimal requirements. What more can you do in that area?

(see Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz - Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol. 1, pp.86-7)

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#489 Fulfill the Will of the Creator

When someone's total focus is on fulfilling the will of the Creator, he will be free from all worries and anxieties. He constantly fulfills the will of the Creator with sublime ecstasy and joy. A wise person makes this his life-goal.

This is such a powerful message that it is worth rereading over and over again. Integrating this into our consciousness is life-transforming. Print this out and put it in a place where you will remember to read it daily for at least one week.

(see Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv - Chochmah Umussar, vol.1, 287-8)

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#490 Appreciate Constructive Critisism

A truth seeker will want others to correct him if they see that he is doing something wrong. The more of a truth seeker you are, the more you will actually love criticism.

Of course, everyone prefers praise. But criticism will help us grow. If the criticism is valid, we gain by listening to it regardless of whether it's presented in a sensitive manner. If someone criticizes you in a painful way, use that as a lesson to be careful in giving others negative feedback.

The next time someone offers you a piece of criticism, act as if you love it!

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#492 The Concept of Tikun

There is a spiritual concept of "tikun" that gives us a perspective conducive for serenity. Kabbalistically the term "tikun" means "rectification." Difficult and distressful life situations serve as a rectification for one's soul. A person accepts, and is even grateful for, medical treatment that heals and cures even though it can be painful. So, too, knowing that the challenges one faces serve as a benefit for one's eternal soul, makes it easier to maintain serenity when facing difficulties.

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I guess I did. :(

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#493 Solicit Advice on Major Decisions

The Ralbag wrote, "When making major decisions, even if you think your plans are definitely correct, it is wise to consult others to hear their opinions. They may raise important points you've overlooked.

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#494 Focus on the Benefit of Doing Mitzvahs

Whether you subjectively find something easy or difficult, depends to a great degree on the perceived benefit. If there is no gain, then even a minor action might seem difficult. But when you gain an immense fortune by taking some action, even a difficult one is now considered easy.

When you focus on the eternal benefits gained from performing mitzvahs, you will be far less bothered by any difficulties or hardships involved.

(see Dubner Magid - Sefer Hamidos, p.126)

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#495 Review Your Speech

Every week, review the things you've recently spoken about. If you find that you were careful not to have spoken negatively about others, feel joy and offer a prayer of gratitude.

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#496 Be Honest Beyond Reproach

Even a person who has a reputation for honesty should be careful to avoid doing things that might give others the impression that he is dishonest.

Rabbi Yehuda Leib Chasman once gave a large sum of charity money to a student to distribute. Noticing that the student did not count the money right away, Rabbi Chasman wanted to teach him an important lesson, so he purposely handed over a lesser sum.

The student soon rushed back, upset that some of the money was missing. Rabbi Chasman revealed to the student that he purposely gave him less money so he would learn to be more careful in the future.

(Ralbag; Hadaios Vehamidos 47:1; Tnuas Hamussar, vol.5, p.256; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.260)

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#497 Stop Negative Speech

Unfortunately, many people are not yet committed to the idea of refraining from negative speech. If you are in the presence of someone as they malign or slander someone, come to the rescue. Have the courage to speak up in defense of the person being spoken against.

This isn't always easy. Build up the strength of character and courage to stop negative speech.

[Gail]

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#498 Cut Worrying Down to Size

Rabbi Leib Dimiles, a wealthy businessman, was also a righteous Torah scholar. Upon receiving news that all his money was lost, he calmly returned to his studies. His wife was shocked: "How can you remain calm in the face of such misfortune?"

Rabbi Leib replied, "Fortunately I have a very quick mind. The amount of worrying that would take someone else a year, I can worry about in a few seconds."

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#499 Life helps you Empathize

Empathy is when you actually feel the pain or pleasure of another person.

View your own distressful and painful experiences as a means of being able to empathize with others when they experience something similar.

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#500 Be Humble, Be Happy

A person who is sincerely humble will be constantly happy. A humble person realizes that nothing is owed him, and therefore feels satisfied with what he has. He does not have expectation of receiving that is above him. He constantly has peace of mind and always feels the joy of life.

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#501 You can Learn to be Happy

Happiness is a skill that can be learned. The essential factor whether or not you will live a happy life is based less on external factors such as wealth, success and fame, and more on your attitude toward life, toward yourself, toward other people, and toward events and situations. Regardless of your attitudes in the past, you have the ability to change and become a master of happiness.

Today is the best day to improve your skills. Either things will go EXACTLY the way you want -- and then you can focus on the feeling of joy. Or things will NOT go the way you want and you'll have the opportunity to attain greater mastery over your attitude.

Throughout the day, keep asking yourself: "What attitude will enable me to experience joy and empowerment RIGHT NOW?

(see Preface to Gateway to Happiness)