Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#502 Use your Experience to Empathize

Every difficulty in your life builds up your mental library of what it's like to go through hard times. And every mistake enables you to empathize with others who also make mistakes. And every time you become frustrated or angry, you gain a better understanding of others who feel this way.

Make note of all your worries and your fears. Make note of your uncomfortable or embarrassing moments. These -- together with every injury, illness, and wound -- help you to become more sensitive to the suffering of others.

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#503 Don't Dwell on Past Events

It is foolish to waste present moments regretting what is over and done with. Some people constantly say, "If only I hadn't gotten involved in this venture, I wouldn't have suffered." "If only I would have stayed an hour longer, this wouldn't have happened." We are not prophets and there is no possible way to know in advance exactly what will be. Try to protect yourself from harm, but realize that it is impossible to plan for every contingency.

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#504 Have the Strength to be Flexible

Flexibility is a very important tool in interpersonal relations. If you are rigid in your demands, you might frequently get your way -- but you will not have many friends.

Learn to differentiate between what is important and what is not. Someone who feels he must always get his way is telling himself, "If I give in to others, it means I am weak."

The Torah attitude is that honoring others is what makes a person honored.

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#505 Choose a Worthy Goal and Go For It

When you have a goal in mind, keep your focus on reaching it, and do not allow yourself to be sidetracked by anything else.

All people who have accomplished in life have set goals for themselves. Think of one goal that would make a major difference in your life. Today, make a commitment to reach that goal.

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#506 The World is a Constant Gift

The Torah viewpoint is that the Almighty constantly creates the entire world and everything in it for each individual. This concept has the potential to give a person immense pleasure. Think about it for a moment. The Almighty -- Creator and Sustainer of the universe -- is constantly creating for you the sun, the moon, and all the other worldly phenomena. He is constantly bestowing upon you life, and every single second He supplies you with your needs.

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#507 Joy - "It's Up To Me" Now

JOY - "IT'S UP TO ME" NOW

I - I create the quality of my life with my ongoing thoughts.

T - The choice of joy or the opposite is mine.

S - See, hear, and feel the way joyful people see, hear, and feel.

U - Unjoy is created by negative T.W.A: thoughts, words, and actions.

P - Perspective makes me happy or unhappy.

T - Talk to yourself the way you would if you were a master of joy.

O - Oneness of humanity gives me many opportunities for kindness.

M - My unconditional joy & love creates a magnificent life.

E - Every moment of joy is stored in my awesome brain and I can access those moments whenever I choose.

"It's up to me" now!!!

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#508 The Biggest Obstacle to Growth

The biggest obstacle to changing ourselves is discouragement. (Chochmah Umussar, vol.2, p.218)

By adopting the optimistic attitude that you are able to improve, you automatically overcome your greatest obstacle. Believe you can improve and you certainly will be able to. If you are skeptical about your ability to change, your greatest enemy is your skepticism. Once you have overcome that obstacle, the rest will be easier.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.376)

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#509 Accept Material Lack

If you give up your demands for more possessions and material matters, you will save yourself much needless sadness.

Sadness does not come from lacking possessions, but from your "lack of acceptance" at not having them.

Next time, when you are unable to acquire something, accept that you do not have it -- and avoid adding emotional pain to your practical problem of not having that thing.

Should you avoid material possessions? No. Just don't make oneself sad about those things you do not have.

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#510 You Will Get It All Back

When you act with hostility and aggression toward others, they are likely to respond in a similar manner. When you shout at someone, he is likely to shout back. The reverse holds true if you are caring and cheerful toward others.

Therefore, for purely pragmatic reasons, we should be kind and friendly in dealing with others.

From the Torah perspective, however, this is not merely sound advice. It is an obligation.

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#511 Create a Courage Part

If you are not yet able to access a powerful courage state at will, the good news is that you can create a "courage part." Even if you do not feel that you are a courageous person, you can still have one part of you that acts from a place of courage.

If you do not yet have a "courage part," make one. Do a single act of courage, even a minor one. If this does not come easily, use the entire force of your will to say or do something that is difficult for you. Then presto! Your "courage part" is now a reality.

If you cannot yet do this in reality, create your "courage part" by utilizing your power of imagination. Imagine yourself talking and acting with courage. Then your "courage part" can be applied in real life.

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#512 It's the Effort that Counts

Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz used to say, "Who is the righteous person and who is the evil person? Many people think the righteous person is one who does not transgress, and the evil person is one who constantly transgresses. But even the very righteous also transgress and even the very wicked perform good deeds.

"The essential difference between the two is that the righteous person tries to overcome his desire to do wrong, while the evil person does not."

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#513 Serene Time Management

Serene time management is a balance between two extremes. Some people are overly lax about time. They tend to come late even for important meetings. Others are overly concerned about being on time. They dread being late for anything and this creates a heightened level of tension whenever they must be on time or complete a task by a specific deadline. Those who are lax about being on time create stress for others. Those who are overly concerned about being exactly on time often create stress for themselves when circumstances beyond their control prevent them from being on time. The ideal to strive for is to remain serene, yet consider it important to be on time and to finish tasks and projects by the time that you or others designate for them.

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#514 Let There Be Light

There was total darkness in the world until the Creator said, "Let there be light." The Torah states this at the very beginning, said the Chofetz Chaim, to tell us that even in the darkest periods of life, in a flash the Almighty can create light. Repeating these words will bring much light into your life.

Let the image of serene light be a source of creating positive energy for you. Visualize white light going from your head to your toes. Feel all your muscles relaxing. Feel every cell in your body vibrating with healthy energy. Feel that healthy energy cycling again and again. Let this empower you.

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#515 Awareness of Options

Keep asking yourself the question, "What's the best option for dealing with this?"

Using the word "option" tells you that there are always a number of options. And using the word "best" implies that you have a choice and that some options are better than others. When we are calm and clear- minded this appears to be obvious. But it's not so obvious to someone who is irritated, upset, or angry.

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#516 Appreciate Common Pleasures

The world is filled with limitless opportunities for pleasure and enjoyment. What destroys this potential is that we become used to what we already have and take things for granted. We do not derive great joy and limitless pleasure from the natural world -- because we become habituated to its sights and experiences.

Today, try focusing your appreciation on an everyday occurrence you've been taking for granted. Here's one idea: Before eating, say the proper blessing and express gratitude to G-d for the good taste and sustenance of the food.

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#517 Learn to not Fear Failure

When things do not work out the way you would have liked and you see that you can still cope, use it as a lesson not to be excessively worried about the outcome of similar situations in the future.

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#518 Your Weakness can be Your Strength

The highest level of being slow to anger is when a person's intellect is the master of his emotions. Such a person has his emotions work for him according to the dictates of morality.

A person who has a naturally cold personality or lack of tendency towards anger has not reached the level of the person who has a natural tendency to become angry, but has control over his temper.

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#519 Anger, or the Will of Your Creator

The Chozeh of Lublin once wanted to arise early in the morning to take care of an important matter. The day before, he asked his wife to prepare his evening meal earlier than usual. But it turned out that the meal was prepared much later than usual.

He commented, "It would be natural for me to become angry now. But the only reason I wanted to have the meal early was to do the will of my Creator. This, too, is the will of my Creator that I should not become angry."

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#520 Joy at Overcoming Obstacles

A disciple of the Chozeh of Lublin was walking on the road to visit his rabbi. All of a sudden, a heavy rain came pouring down, and the disciple began to sing and dance.

He explained: "When people would walk to the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, no inconvenience along the way could deter them - because of their joyous anticipation of being in Jerusalem. Similarly, I greatly anticipate being near our great teacher - and therefore any difficulty simply increases my joy!"

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#521 Stop and Focus

The ability to concentrate is a prerequisite for acquiring wisdom.

Spend time mastering the ability to stop your "internal dialogue" in order to concentrate well.

Also, just realizing that your mind is wandering enables you to bring it back and focus on the activity at hand.

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#522 On Being Cautious

The Talmud says: "A wise person is one who sees the outcome."

A wise person will cautiously weigh his or her actions to make certain that the outcome will not be problematic.

Of course, it is important to develop a balanced attitude towards being cautious. Being overly cautious will waste much time and will prevent you from accomplishing. Not being sufficiently cautious will cause you many problems.

In what ways might you be more cautious than necessary? And in what ways are you not as cautious as you should be?

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#523 Become More Ambitious

Imagine how much you and others would gain by your being more ambitious. What would you undertake if you were to increase your level of ambition?

Utilize everything you know about motivating yourself to increase your level of ambition.

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#524 Maintain a Positive Focus

When you consult someone to increase your happiness, know what you want, and ask for it. It's common to ask for what one doesn't want. "I don't want to be depressed." "I don't want to be so miserable." This way you might end up speaking more about depression and misery than on mastering joy.

You might need to discuss the roots and causes in order to change what can be changed. But keep your main focus on joy, happiness, and self-mastery. If this is what you really want, keep your focus on what you can do in thought and deed to create it.

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#525 Choose Your Response to Insults

The power of anyone else to cause you distress with an insult is the power you give that person. Don't empower anyone to cause you pain. You are too valuable and precious to relinquish your power to someone who is committing the crime of trying to verbally harm another human being which happens to be you.

Words are harmless in themselves even though they can be powerful. It is you the receiver of those words who is the ultimate decider of whether or not someone's insensitive words will be distressful.

When suffering from insults, the reaction is so swift and automatic that many people consider themselves helpless to prevent their suffering. But it is your personal interpretation of what is said that creates your reaction. Regardless of how you have reacted in the past, right now you can create new reactions. The ultimate reaction is to enjoy transcending insults.

Develop a spiritual awareness that if the Almighty is sending you an experience it is for your growth and development. If someone says something insulting to you, learn from it to be more careful not to cause anyone else pain with words. Learn from it to spread the consciousness that it is wrong to use one's power of speech to cause suffering to others.

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#526 Home Sweet Home?

Parents must frequently ask themselves: What kind of home do we have? Is it a place that develops unhappy attitudes, complaining, and irritability? or is our home a sanctuary of cheerfulness, of liking everyone, where incriminations and useless nagging are never heard?