Members phkrause Posted August 20, 2012 Author Members Posted August 20, 2012 #551 Suffering helps us Focus A person who is broken-hearted has a greater tendency to think about his ultimate purpose in this world. This can lead to more elevated behavior. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 20, 2012 Author Members Posted August 20, 2012 #552 Kindness requires Awareness Doing acts of kindness requires great wisdom about the ways of the world. You must have an awareness of the differences between people and their individual needs. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 21, 2012 Author Members Posted August 21, 2012 #553 Please According to the Pleasure People react to different situations differently, based on their diverse personalities and experiences. The obligation to love other people and do acts of kindness requires that we look at the specific individual we are dealing with. Try to understand what exactly will give this person pleasure. Be aware of his personality traits, in order to know what his needs are. Decide in which areas and to what degree to honor this specific person. To do this properly requires much thought. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 24, 2012 Author Members Posted August 24, 2012 #554 Heed the Cry for Respect Every person you meet deeply desires to be treated with respect. If you listen carefully, you will hear them cry: "Please consider me an important person. Don't embarrass or insult me. Please listen to me when I speak." If you learn to treat every person you meet with respect, you will have many friends throughout your life. Upon meeting another person, ask yourself, "What can I say to this person to show him respect?" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 24, 2012 Author Members Posted August 24, 2012 #556 Review Mistakes Constructively Often, when something does not work out as planned, it is common to keep discussing the matter. Such discussions frequently cause needless anger and irritation. Ask yourself: "Was I right in going to such and such a place?" "Was I right in doing this or that?" If what you did was wrong, even if the outcome was successful, it was improper to have done it. Accept responsibility, resolve not to repeat it, and move on. The past is already gone and there is no value in complaining about it. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 26, 2012 Author Members Posted August 26, 2012 PKRAUSE DID you miss 555 dgrimm60 No I never received it?? Not sure why, but have not had the time to go and look. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 26, 2012 Author Members Posted August 26, 2012 #557 Keep Mistakes in Perspective Some people tend to condemn themselves as total failures when they make a mistake. They tell themselves that because they have made a mistake they are "no good." Basically their attitude is, "If I'm not perfect, then I'm a complete failure." The reality is that no one is perfect and no one is a complete failure. We are all on various stages along a continuum. It is more productive to recognize your situation as it really is (as best as you can) and work on improving. Then you will begin to tell yourself something along these lines, "I am aware of seven mistakes today. What can I do to avoid these mistakes in the future?" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 26, 2012 Author Members Posted August 26, 2012 #558 Overcome Obstacles to Action At times you might have negative reactions when trying to perform a good deed. You might feel rebellious and would rather not do the deed. Do not feel sad or nervous about this. The essence of doing good deeds is the effort, and we cannot expect it will always be easy to do the right thing. Have a conversation with yourself. Ask yourself why you find it difficult. What exactly is bothering you? This will give you personal insight and will help you grow. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 28, 2012 Author Members Posted August 28, 2012 #559 Rise Above Trivial Aspects of Honor It is ridiculous how some people are concerned about trivial aspects of "honor." For example, a person may refuse to visit a friend or relative, because they feel the other person should come to him first. Or they become angry if they visit someone and that person does not repay the visit. Focus on being practical. If you would like to speak to someone, what does it matter if he did not come to you first? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 28, 2012 Author Members Posted August 28, 2012 #560 Increase Your Respect Right now, feel a greater sense of self-respect and respect for others. This will be reflected in how you speak and how you act. Repeat the words "self-respect and respect for others. If you had a greater amount of self-respect, what is one special thing you would do differently today? What can you do today that would be an expression of greater respect for others? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 29, 2012 Author Members Posted August 29, 2012 #561 Honesty Brings Respect Others will respect you more for being honest and open rather than being evasively defensive. Ultimately you will gain more self-respect. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 30, 2012 Author Members Posted August 30, 2012 #562 Elevate your Mundane Actions Many routine actions that we do every day can be elevated by focusing on more elevated thoughts. For example, when you go shopping for your family, focus on the fact that you are doing an act of kindness. Or, when you say good morning to someone, focus on the fact that you are giving him a blessing. If someone asks you to pass the salt, realize you are doing an act of kindness. Focusing in this way will increase your level of joy, and increase your desire to do more good deeds. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted August 31, 2012 Author Members Posted August 31, 2012 #563 Have the Strength to Remain Silent Feel intense empowerment as you have the strength to remain silent when silence is the wisest course of action. Your silence will not be passive, but an active silence that comes from self-mastery. As you remain silent, hear an inner cheer. Your silence requires as much skill as any Olympic athlete. It is a victory that deserves a standing ovation. Hear an inner voice saying, "I'm proud of your self-mastery to remain silent." Your silence is the mark of a champion! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 1, 2012 Author Members Posted September 1, 2012 #564 Humility Eliminates Many Problems Humility eliminates many of life's problems. A humble person will not be bothered by life's circumstances and will not envy what anyone else has. He will not become angry nor quarrel with others. It is very pleasant to be in the presence of a humble person, therefore people will invariably like him. All of his interactions with other people will be serene and tranquil. Fortunate is the person who has acquired this attribute. Today, imagine that a miracle has occurred and you suddenly have total humility. In what way does this enable you to free yourself from any anxiety you frequently experience? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 12, 2012 Author Members Posted September 12, 2012 #565 Cleave to the Almighty in Prayer A person who learns to pray properly can understand what the words of the Chazon Ish in "Emunah Ubitochon": "When a person merits becoming aware of the reality of the Almighty's existence, he will experience limitless joy. His soul is enveloped in sanctity, and it is as though the soul has left the body and floats in the upper Heavens. When a person transcends to this level, an entirely new world is open to him. It is possible for a person to be momentarily like a celestial being, [while at the same time] in this world. All of the pleasures of this world are as nothing compared to the intense pleasure of a person cleaving to his Creator." Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 12, 2012 Author Members Posted September 12, 2012 #566 Deal With Others as They are Now In your relations with other people, live in the present. Reviewing past misdeeds and failures of the people you associate with just adds fuel to the fire of resentment. Try to deal with people the way they are now. True, they might have offended you in the past, but what do you gain by thinking about it now? If you find it difficult to stop thinking of others' past offenses, write a list of what you gain by thinking of that past, and another list of how you lose by doing so. When you see the harm you are causing yourself, you will be more motivated to let go of the past. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 12, 2012 Author Members Posted September 12, 2012 #567 Concentrate on your Next Step A man came to the town of Krasny, Russia, and publicized he would balance himself on a rope tied on both sides of a river. Rabbi Chaim Krasner, a disciple of the Baal Shem Tov, brought some of his students to watch the man perform. Rabbi Chaim's students, noticing how their teacher concentrated deeply on the man, asked why it caught his interest. "I was contemplating how this person puts his life in danger to walk across the rope. If he would think about how much money he will receive for his act, he would surely slip and fall. The only way he can keep his balance is to free his mind from every other thought, and concentrate completely on each step. If his mind would wander for even a moment, he would fall into the river. That is the level of concentration we too must master." Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 12, 2012 Author Members Posted September 12, 2012 #568 Purposefulness Lightens Suffering The Talmud states that all suffering is purposeful. When we suffer, we should view it as a message to check our behavior for areas we can improve. Viewing suffering as meaningless increases one's pain. When you find meaning and purpose in suffering, it becomes much easier to bear. The more meaning you see, the lighter the burden. The worst suffering is when one feels there is no purpose in it. The basic Torah perspective is that whatever happens to a person is purposeful and ultimately for his good. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 12, 2012 Author Members Posted September 12, 2012 #569 Our Bodies are not Our Selves In Western society, the body has been deified. Many judge themselves by their physical beauty and strength (or lack of it). The Torah attitude is that our bodies are tools for spiritual elevation. The value of a tool is not in its appearance but in its function. A person who looks at his body as a tool for spiritual growth does not think less of himself if he has a physical handicap. Since his body is a tool, he is only expected to utilize the tool that he was given. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 14, 2012 Author Members Posted September 14, 2012 #570 Develop your Motivational Skills When you try to help others and they don't listen to you, you have a choice. You can say "it's impossible to help them" and blame them for not being more open. Or you can view the situation as your own lack of proficiency at influencing and motivating others. A blame-free attitude is the best path to choose. This can motivate you to develop your skills and talents on how to persuade, influence, and motivate. It could be that what you said is exactly what this person needs. As you enhance your presentation skills, in the future you will influence others to follow your beneficial suggestions. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 14, 2012 Author Members Posted September 14, 2012 #571 Joy In Mitzvahs Greater Than This World A person who feels joy when performing mitzvahs will forget all his suffering and misfortunes. In comparison to becoming closer to the Almighty, of what import is pettiness and trivialities? A person who experiences joy in doing good deeds will feel greater joy than a person who finds a large sum of money. Why should a person expend his efforts trying to find happiness in areas where the basis is transient and ultimately meaningless, when he has a far better alternative? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 14, 2012 Author Members Posted September 14, 2012 #572 Good Traits are Easier Than You Think Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (18th century Italy) wrote: "I cannot deny that it will take hard work to free yourself from negative traits. Nevertheless, I can honestly tell you that not as much effort is needed as might at first appear. What you need appears more difficult than it will actually be in practice. When you are sincerely motivated to work consistently to free yourself from your faults, the positive habits you begin to establish will render the entire process much easier than you originally thought. Experience confirms this to be true." Today, think about what positive habits you'd wish to master. Either write them down, or make a mental picture of how your life would be enhanced by mastering these traits. The stronger your feelings abut how much you will gain, the more motivated you will be. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 14, 2012 Author Members Posted September 14, 2012 #573 Experience Joy For All That You Have Re-experience joy for what you have at every moment. That way, each moment you are once again reacquiring anew all that you have. When something is new, we strongly appreciate it. After a while, the joy often wears off. Right this second you can experience tremendous joy for all that you have. You may not be able to maintain this feeling for more than a few minutes. But as long as you can - fantastic!! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Posted September 15, 2012 #574 Change Yourself, Change The World When you observe the suffering that people experience in the world, much of it comes from negative character traits. At the root of much needless suffering is envy, desire, honor and approval-seeking, anger and frustration. By improving your character traits, you can actually overcome all the suffering that could potentially arise. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Posted September 15, 2012 #575 Being Truly Fortunate The person who is truly fortunate in this world is the one who has authentic trust in the Almighty. He is able to sustain a feeling of well-being when things go well as well as when things are challenging. He experiences a sense of well-being whether he has a lot or a little. He experiences this well-being whether people meet his expectations or whether they don't. His well-being is constant, because his trust in the Almighty gives him the awareness that his life has a plan that is specially designed for his welfare. The nature of that plan becomes clearer all the time. The reality of what occurs in his life is what Hashem in His infinite wisdom knows is ultimately best for his unique spiritual needs. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
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