Members phkrause Posted December 27, 2013 Author Members Posted December 27, 2013 Q: Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? A: Because it would be a foot Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 2, 2014 Author Members Posted January 2, 2014 Q: Why did the clown go to the doctor? A: He felt a little funny. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 3, 2014 Author Members Posted January 3, 2014 Q: What never asks a question, but always demands an answer? A: A phone Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 7, 2014 Author Members Posted January 7, 2014 Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: "I think I'm coming down with something!" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 12, 2014 Author Members Posted January 12, 2014 Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? A: Because they have honeycombs Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 17, 2014 Author Members Posted January 17, 2014 Q: When is the moon heaviest? A: When it's full Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 18, 2014 Author Members Posted January 18, 2014 Q: How do you keep a dinosaur from charging? A: Take away his credit card! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 26, 2014 Author Members Posted January 26, 2014 Q: What happens when a vampire attacks a snowman? A: Frostbite Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 1, 2014 Author Members Posted February 1, 2014 Q: Why does a polar bear have a fur coat? A: Because he would look silly in a jacket Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 6, 2014 Author Members Posted February 6, 2014 Q: Why were the suspenders arrested? A: For holding up a pair of pants! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 11, 2014 Author Members Posted February 11, 2014 Q: Why do cowboys ride horses? A: Because they are too heavy to carry! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 13, 2014 Author Members Posted February 13, 2014 Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry? A: Goes back 4 seconds! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 20, 2014 Author Members Posted February 20, 2014 Q: What did the Baby corn say to the Mama corn? A: Where's my Pop corn? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 26, 2014 Author Members Posted February 26, 2014 Elephant Joke Q: Why doesn't the elephant use the computer? A: Because it is afraid of the mouse! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted February 28, 2014 Author Members Posted February 28, 2014 Jungle Joke Q: Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle? A: There are too many cheetahs! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 2, 2014 Author Members Posted March 2, 2014 A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.'' The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?'' The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!'' Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 3, 2014 Author Members Posted March 3, 2014 A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 4, 2014 Author Members Posted March 4, 2014 Doctor tells his patient: - I have some bad news and worse news. Patient: - What is it, doctor? Doctor: - The laboratory test results show that you have only 24 hours to live. Patient: - Oh my God! Doctor: - The worse news is that I tried telling this to you yesterday but your cell phone was unreachable. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 4, 2014 Author Members Posted March 4, 2014 A man went to see the doctor. Man: "Doc, I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to see spots in front of my eyes". Doctor: "Have you seen an optician?" Man: "No, just spots." Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 6, 2014 Author Members Posted March 6, 2014 There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses." Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 7, 2014 Author Members Posted March 7, 2014 A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, "Thank God," and for it to stop you say, "Amen." So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted "Amen!" and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. "Whew," said the man, "thank God!" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 9, 2014 Author Members Posted March 9, 2014 A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Oh, look at that dead bird." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 9, 2014 Author Members Posted March 9, 2014 Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant? A: A very nervous postman. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 11, 2014 Author Members Posted March 11, 2014 A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God's name was. 'Oh that's easy,' the man replied, 'His name is Andy.' 'What make you think his name is Andy?' the angel asked incredulously. 'Well, you see at Church we used to sing this song 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.' Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted March 12, 2014 Author Members Posted March 12, 2014 Knock-knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.