Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

[phkrause]

You Become What You Think About

One of the most important and valuable concepts about our mind and thoughts is that you become what you think about.

This idea has the potential to be highly empowering. It means that by gaining greater mastery over your thoughts, you gain greater mastery over your life. It means that by mastering your thoughts, you will be able to make and reach important goals.

When you consistently think about being happy and joyful in your life, you will become happier and more joyful.

When you consistently think about being kinder and more compassionate, you will become kinder and more compassionate.

When you consistently think about being more confident and courageous, you will become more confident and courageous.

When you consistently think about being calm and serene, you will become calmer and more serene.

When you consistently think about being more patient and persistent, you will become more patient and persistent.

When you consistently think about your most important goals in life and what you need to do to reach them, you will find yourself accomplishing and achieving more.

When you consistently think about being more elevated and spiritual, you will become that way.

[phkrause]

All Self-Talk is in the Present

Whenever you have a self-conversation, you are always talking to yourself in the present moment. And in each present moment, you get to choose what you think, what you say, and what you do.

You can express it this way: "I am always in the here and now, and in the here and now, I create my present experience with the thoughts that I choose to think."

This idea is tremendously empowering. This idea can enable you to free yourself from much of the distress that you might unnecessarily cause yourself. Everything you actually experience is your present experience, and your present experience is based on the thoughts that you think right now.

To master any positive quality, you must master being able to access or create that positive quality in the present moment. Let's say that you would like to master the ability to be happy and joyful whenever you wish. You only need to be able to access or create happiness and joy right now. As you do this, you will realize, "I am always in the now. Because I can be happy or joyful now, I can choose to experience this whenever I wish."

The same applies to many attributes: you only need to access them now, not in the future. You only need to choose kindness and compassion in the present moment. You only need to choose patience and serenity in the present moment.

You only need to access your courage in the present moment. Some moments will be easier than others. But as long as you have courage stored in your brain (which is always with you), any time you think that it would be great to have courage now, you'll have all you need to have courage now. This way of looking at courage makes it much easier. You don't need to think about maintaining courage later on. You only need it now. And whenever you want to experience courage, you will be in the "now."

Whenever you think about the past, you aren't in the past anymore. You are in the present thinking about the past.

Whenever you think about the future, you aren't in the future yet. You are in the present thinking about the future.

People who have mastered the ability to realize that their thoughts are always in the present free themselves from much worry. All worry is about the future. The future is unknown right now. You can pray for the future. And it is wise to plan for the future. But since you are always in the present, it's not a sensible thing to cause yourself needless distress or suffering for what might or might not be later on. It is better to utilize your time in the wisest way for now.

[phkrause]

All Events and Situations are Neutral Until You Have Self-Talk About it

Realizing that your self-talk is a key factor of the way you view any event or situation allows you to understand the power of your self-talk.

Your self-talk is the key factor that decides whether you will live a happy life or an unhappy life; whether you frequently experience positive things or negative things. Your self-talk is the key factor that changes encounters with kind, friendly, helpful people into encounters with cold, selfish, and uncaring people, or vice versa.

When someone really comprehends the power of self-talk, he understands on a deep level that his life experiences depend on how he views them. Your outlook is the key to the quality of your life. The difficulty involved with dealing with potentially challenging situations and people depends on your viewpoint and perspective. Your viewpoint, based on your self-talk, makes the situation harder to deal with, or easier.

When you have a "good eye" and see events and people in a positive light, you will have a totally different experience than someone who has a "bad eye." With a "bad eye," you see problems and hardships and difficulties everywhere. With a "good eye," people treat you better and life events will work in your favor. You see opportunities, where those with a "bad eye" see misfortune.

[phkrause]

Clarify Your Life Purpose and Mission

Your life's purpose and mission are the top topics about which to have self-conversations.

If you are reading this now, that means that you are alive. What are you living for? What is your life purpose and mission?

We all want to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Make it your number one priority to clarify your life purpose and mission.

Some people are always very clear about what they really want in life. Great people are aware of a great life purpose. They are clear about their mission in life. What they think, say, and do is aligned with their essential values. This is why their thoughts, words, and actions create a great person.

[phkrause]

Telling Yourself the Story of Your Life

What is the story of your life? The story you choose to tell yourself about your life has a tremendous impact on your self-image, on making and reaching goals, on your character traits, and on your level of happiness.

Some people think, "I don't choose to tell myself a story about my life. My life happened. When I tell myself and others about my life, I am just recounting the objective picture of my life.

Sorry. There is no such thing as an objective picture of your life. All experiences are experienced subjectively.

What does this mean? It means that the way you think about what happened in your life is the way that you experience what was and what is. You give meaning to your life and the events in your life by the way you tell yourself about your experiences.

Regardless of the stories that you've been telling yourself about your life and about specific incidents in the past, you can choose to upgrade the level of your stories.

At this moment, you can make a life-enhancing decision. From now on, I will tell myself stories of appreciation and gratitude. Stories of personal growth and self-development. Stories about increasing my confidence, courage, and self-empowerment.

Writing an essay is an effective tool to upgrade the story of your life. You may use the title: "The Story of My Life." In this essay, write down the highlights of your life. Write down some of your best moments. Write down skills and talents that you have already developed. Write down your strengths and positive qualities. Write down dreams, goals, and plans for the future. Write down attitudes that you are in the process of developing.

You don't yet know exactly how the rest of your life will unfold. But you can know what positive qualities and ways of being you want to develop. As you write this down as part of the story of your life, you will be setting a direction for yourself.

[phkrause]

This Moment is the Ultimate Moment of Your Life Until Now

"This moment is the ultimate moment of my life until now." How can you say this? Because this is the moment that you've been practicing for your entire life. Everything you've ever studied and everything you've ever learned is now stored in your brain. The wisdom of your life experiences has reached its highest point (so far) at this very moment.

This moment is made up of all that you've ever learned and done. All the moments of your life have added up to this very moment. So since this moment is so special, make it really special. How do you do that? With your self-talk. With your thoughts. With the way you draw upon all of your skills and talents and wisdom. With the words and the actions your mind tells you are the best for this moment.

Just consider this moment special, and it is. And this is not only true for this moment. Rather, it is true for every single moment, for as long as you live. The present moment is the culmination of your life until that moment.

At this moment and each moment, you get to choose your thoughts, and your words, and your actions. Make wise choices. Make choices that you will look back on later and say, "I am glad that I made those choices."

[phkrause]

Problem Focus Versus Solution Focus

Develop the habit of thinking about potential solutions whenever your mind comes up with a problem. "What are some of the ways that I could possibly solve this problem?" is one of the worthy questions to get into the habit of asking yourself.

When you keep your mind focused on solving problems, you save yourself the anxiety you would have experienced if you had focused mostly on problems.

Moreover, when you think about finding solutions, you are more likely to find satisfactory solutions.

Keep your eyes and ears open to reading and hearing about how various people have solved different problems. Think of a list of people who excel at solving problems. Instead of spending an excessively large amount of time obsessing about a problem, ask yourself, "Who is good at solving problems? Let me contact this person." When you can't contact your problem-solving friend immediately, you can gain by asking yourself, "What do I think this person would say to help me solve this problem?"

Thinking about the situation in this way will bring out an aspect of your creativity that otherwise would not have been accessed.

[phkrause]

The Learn Experience Question

Life is full of many learning experiences, also known as mistakes. Ask yourself frequently, "What can I learn from this?" Some people make mistakes and then berate themselves for making those mistakes. They can be especially critical of themselves when they make a similar mistake a second and third time. Some people even say to themselves, "Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again?" This question takes a person in the wrong direction.

It's valuable to recognize when you make a mistake. "That was a mistake." But don't focus on the fact that you keep making the same mistake; instead, the next step is to ask yourself, "What can I learn from this to avoid similar mistakes in the future?"

Don't obsess about your mistakes. Then your mind keeps its focus on what you did wrong and what you don't want to do in the future. Keep your mind on doing the right things in the right ways. Then your mind is focused on what you do want.

When you ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" you are becoming more aware that you are becoming wiser and wiser. That's the mindset that you want for yourself.

[phkrause]

The Right Double Standand

It is said in the name of Rabbi Yitzchok Blauser: "Trust in the Almighty is a very precious attribute. The Talmud (Sotah 48b) tells us that if a person has enough bread to eat today, he is lacking a degree of trust if he worries about what he will eat tomorrow.

Bear in mind, however, that this applies only to a person working on his own attributes. When it comes to other people, we must be concerned about what they will eat tomorrow... and for many days to come.

[phkrause]

For Peace Of Mind

Frequently, erroneous thoughts and illusions enter a person's mind and disturb his concentration. When you lack peace of mind, you will not be able to study Torah or pray properly. The best advice is to develop the following attitude:

"Want that which your Creator wants for you. Take pleasure in what you have, whether comparatively little or a lot."

Once you adopt this attitude, you will be able to find peace of mind and this will be therapeutic for both your body and soul. You will be able to find success - whatever the particular circumstances and challenges you find yourself in.

[phkrause]

Edit Negative Patterns Into Positive Patterns

Edit what you say when you speak to yourself. If you find yourself about to say something important in a negative pattern, edit it to a positive pattern.

If someone were about to say to himself, "That was stupid of me," he would be much better off editing this to say, "Be smart" or "Be wise" instead.

Perhaps he really did say or do something stupid. But now that he is aware of this mistake, he would be wise to tell himself how he would prefer to be in the future. Both of these positive self-statements are messages to make smarter and wiser choices and decisions. This is good advice to give to oneself.

If someone were about to say to himself, "There you go again. You are always making these kinds of mistakes," he would be much better off editing this to, "I'm glad that I realize that this was a mistake. I am strongly resolved to speak and act in ways that would be better to speak and act."

[phkrause]

Self-Conversations That Enable You to Reach Your Important Goals

What is the major difference between people who accomplish and achieve a great deal and people who don't? The answer to this question can make a major difference in your life.

Those who accomplish and achieve have goals and take the actions necessary to reach those goals. In contrast, people without clear goals don't have a target to reach.

Every single person with great accomplishments and achievements has made goals. Many write them down. Some don't. But they are very clear about what they want.

What important goals do you want to reach? If you don't have a clear idea right now, make it your goal to make a clear goal.

One of the most accomplished people I've ever met told me that he decided to write down 101 goals for himself. Since he had so many goals, he was certain that he would reach many of them. And each goal that he reached encouraged him to think that he would be able to reach many more goals. It was amazing to see how he kept finding opportunities and resources that enabled him to reach his most important goals.

Other people might feel overwhelmed by a large number of goals. They might be telling themselves, "There is so much I want to do and there is only a limited amount of time to do it all." For them, a single, relatively easy-to-reach goal might be best. Then they can make another goal that they find easy to reach, and then another one. This way they can build up an inner attitude of, "I am a person who makes and reaches goals." Then they can make larger and larger goals.

Your self-conversations about your goals will either enable you to reach them or will prevent you from reaching them. Regardless of your past self-conversations, right at this moment you can decide, "I will talk to myself in ways that enable me to make and reach important goals."

See yourself reaching your goals. Feel what it will be like when you achieve your worthwhile goals. Take action in the direction of your goals.

Believe that with the Almighty's help you will be able to reach the goals for which you strive.

[phkrause]

Happiness is Less Demanding

A major cause of many people's sadness is their lack of attaining things they could live without.

This is ironic. A person demands things because he wishes to live a happier life. But with that very demand, he causes himself much unhappiness. Give up your demand for what you are unable to obtain and you will live a happier life.

[phkrause]

Expend For A Friend

The Sages say that having a friend is so important that one should be willing to pay for it! (Talmud - Avot 1:6)

Paying a price does not necessarily refer to financial payments. We might need to spend time and energy to keep a friend. We may have to tolerate some of his negative habits. Or at times he might quarrel with us. Nevertheless, the price we pay for a close friend is a worthwhile investment.

[phkrause]

Choose Life

At every given moment in your life "The Almighty is telling you, ‘Choose life!'"

Imagine how you will enhance your life when you respond, "Yes! I will make a life-enhancing choice right now." Have frequent self-conversations about your decision to "choose life!"

Each moment you make three choices. You choose your thoughts for the moment. You choose the words you say or don't say. You choose the actions you will or won't take.

Choose wisely. It would be wise to ask yourself frequently, "What is a wise thing to think now?" "What is a wise thing to say now?" and, "What is a wise thing to do now?"

The more frequently you purposely ask yourself, "What is a life-enhancing choice now?" the more frequently your mind will spontaneously come up with this question.

The more you think about making life-enhancing choices, the easier it will be for you to think of wiser answers to this question.

Sometimes, a life-enhancing choice is quite obvious. All we need to do is ask ourselves this question and we will know the answer. At other times we might not be so sure. But at least we will be going in the right direction.

[phkrause]

Don't Let Hurts Blind You To The Good

If someone has done something to you that you feel angry about, focus on some good quality of that person. He might have helped others or have virtues you can appreciate. The positive aspects of his character could be sufficient for you to erase your feelings of anger toward him.

Say to yourself, "It's enough for me that he has helped me in the past." Or, "It's enough for me that he has this or that virtue."

[phkrause]

If You Don't Like a Situation Change it or Change Your Self-Talk

There are always two possibilities about any unsatisfying situation: Either you will be able to change it, or you will be able to change your self-talk.

Telling yourself, "There is nothing at all I can do to change this situation, therefore I must feel bad," is not based on reality. How can anyone possibly say: "There is nothing at all I can do to change the situation"? You can always pray, can't you? Your Father, your King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe, can change any situation in a moment.

You might find a book or article that gives you ideas that can help you find a solution that you didn't think of before.

You might find a teacher, mentor, coach, or friend who can make suggestions and think of ideas that will enable you to change a situation.

Events might unfold that totally change the situation. The Purim story teaches us that even an impossible situation that spelled total doom can be changed in a single moment.

You might think of a way to reframe the situation so that now you view it differently. What previously seemed like a problem and a difficulty can now be seen as a wonderful opportunity to grow and develop yourself. What was once considered a liability can now be seen as an asset.

You always have a choice of your self-talk. Ask yourself, "What can I think about now that will improve the way I am feeling?"

You can always think, "The more challenging a situation, the more I can grow from it."

The more skilled you are about creating positive self-talk in challenging situations, the easier it will be for you to handle new challenges in the future.

[phkrause]

Talking to Yourself About Other People

Many of your thoughts are about other people: People you know well and people who are strangers to you, but affect your life in various ways. People you are related to and people you are friends with. People you find easy to deal with and people you find challenging. People you respect and like, and people you are upset with. People who are helpful to you and people you wish to help. People you interact with frequently, and people you meet just once.

The way you view people determines how you get along with them. The Torah (Vayikra 19:18) tells us: "Love other people as yourself." Also, the Sages teach us in Pirkei Avos (4:1): "Who is an honorable person? Someone who honors and respects others." When you love and respect someone, you think about him in positive ways. Your self-talk is about his good qualities. You think about what you can learn from him, and this is the definition of a wise person. As the Sages (Pirkei Avos 4:1) say, "Who is wise? Someone who learns from everyone."

When you associate people with their positive qualities and have positive thoughts and feelings about them, you speak to them more positively. You also act towards them with greater kindness and compassion.

Yes, we need to be aware of the totality of people in order protect ourselves and others. But our major focus should be on what is good and right and admirable about others.

Be strongly resolved to keep your mind focused on the virtues and positive qualities of other people. If your mind happens to think unnecessarily about what is wrong with other people, change your thoughts to what is good and right about them.

Your thoughts about another person create a powerful energy. One of my favorite verses is from Mishlei/Proverbs (27:19). "As in water, face to face, so, too, is the heart of one person to another." When you think positive thoughts about another person, that person will tend to feel positively about you also. The deeper and more profound your thoughts and feelings of unconditional love, the more likely it is that this person will reciprocate.

[phkrause]

Give To Others By Honoring Them

Someone who sincerely wants to do acts of kindness will do and say things to honor others.

Try it. This will give the other person pleasure, and be a great source of pleasure to you as well!

[phkrause]

How To Not Cause Suffering

The Torah forbids us to harm or cause suffering to others. Even from a selfish perspective, we should be careful not to harm others, since we will ultimately suffer because of it.

Some guidelines:

* Refrain from insulting others.

* Refrain from talking negatively about others, unless it is necessary for a practical and constructive purpose.

* Refrain from lying to others.

* Refrain from deceiving others in financial matters.

* Refrain from causing others pain or unpleasantness through actions or words.

* Refrain from causing others financial losses. The money of others should be as dear as our own.

[phkrause]

Courage to Begin Again

It takes courage to begin again after the collapse of a project, an organization, or a business. One has spent much time and energy and things didn't work out as well as one would have wished. Experiencing this makes one more wary about the future.

The more "failures," the more courage you'll need in order to begin again -- and the greater amount of courage that you gain when you do actually begin again.

[phkrause]

Use Impatience For Meaning

We all have a deep and pervasive need for meaning. We want our lives to be meaningful. Not only is this so about our lives in general, but we feel distress and anxiety when we feel that time is being wasted on something that is meaningless.

Impatience teaches us an important lesson. It shows us that our time is valuable and we want to utilize it for meaningful activities.

[phkrause]

What Would My Greatest Role Models Say to Me?

Ask yourself this valuable question: "What would my greatest role models say to me now?"

Think of different people you respect and admire, both people you now know and people you've known in the past. Think of people whose books you have read or whose recordings you have heard. Think of great people in the past that you now wish you could have learned from in person.

It's helpful if you write down a list of the names of these great teachers and role models. Now review your list and ask yourself about each one: "What are some of the main lessons this person would teach me?"

You can have many inspiring and enlightening self-conversations by imagining that the greatest people who ever lived were asking you questions. So ask yourself, "If so and so were to ask me an insightful question about myself and my life, what do I think he would ask me now?"

When you use your imagination and stored knowledge to have self-conversations with great people, you will find yourself having many meaningful and inspiring self-conversations about important topics and subjects.

[phkrause]

Discipline Builds Success

If a person has many faults in different areas and is confused about where to start, he should select one trait and work specifically on it. It takes self-discipline to correct a trait. To overcome a fault, your intellect must rule over your desires.

Once you've gone through the process once, this will help you correct many other traits.

Realize as well that all character traits are dependent on each other. If you correct one trait, this will automatically be a stepping stone to correcting other traits.

[phkrause]

Just Apologize

Sincerely apologizing is the best way to overcome the resentment and negative feelings of someone who is angry with you. However, at times it can be very difficult to apologize. When you tell yourself, "Just apologize," it can become easier.

If you really did something wrong, you have an obligation to apologize. At times, it's wisest to apologize even if you aren't really at fault. Your apology can create harmony. Have the strength and courage to "just apologize." Your sincere apology will totally calm some people.

Even if you need to apologize a number of times and find the right things to say each time, your initial apology is still the first step forward.