Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#289   Breathing In The Present

 

A major tool for being in the present mentally is to focus on your breathing. You are breathing right now. Be totally present as you slowly inhale and exhale. If your mind wanders, calmly bring it back. Keep practicing this. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were able to be serene in the present every time you breathe? This is a worthwhile goal toward which to strive.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.49)

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#290   Be Serene This Moment 

 

Since you exist in only one moment at a time, to be serene you only need to be serene during that moment. You create serenity when you think serene thoughts and mentally picture serene scenes. You create serenity when you breathe slowly and deeply and relax your muscles. You create serenity when you vividly remember scenes of being serene. Regardless of how you have been at any given moment later on, you only need to be serene this moment. Repeat these last four words: Be serene this moment.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.21)

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#291   A Personal Program Geared Toward Increasing Happiness and Joy 

 

Here is a personal program geared toward increasing happiness and joy:

"I am now committing my mind and resources to continue developing all of my character traits, especially the traits of being happy and joyful. Every moment I choose my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, so right now I will choose to be happier and more joyful.

This moment is the only moment I can live in, and therefore at this moment I choose happiness and joy. I am grateful for all the good in my life, for each and every breath, and for life itself. Every moment of happiness and joy that I have ever experienced is stored in my brain and my brain is always with me. I will access that joy to easily speak and act joyfully and kindly. My own joy enables me to be kinder and more compassionate towards others. I will think of positive role models who have a balanced sense of happiness and joy, and I will keep learning from those role models.

I will keep developing the mind-set of someone who is constantly happy and joyful. I will become happier and more joyful all the time. It is becoming easier to be happy and joyful. I access and create more happy and joyful moments.

I ask My Father, My King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe, for the wisdom and insight to develop all of my character traits, especially the quality of being happy and joyful in a balanced way. My happiness and joy enables me to think, speak, and act at my best. I am grateful for each happy moment. My own happiness will be able to help others. I will find it easier to grow in happiness and joy."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.213) [Artscroll.com])

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#292   Honor vs Self-Improvement 

 

An honor-seeker is not really interested in self-improvement. He is only interested in gaining approval from others. Hence, he will disregard his faults as long as others will not notice it.

On the other hand, a person who is able to forego honor is able to focus on truth. His only thought is to do the right thing, and he is willing to sacrifice his honor for his principles. Such a person will eventually receive honor, for he will constantly work on improving himself.

(Madraigat HaAdam; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.283)

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#293   Good 'n Sad 

 

Make a list of good deeds you can do and force yourself to do them when you feel sad. This may be very difficult. But realize that exactly because it is difficult, it is more meritorious to do "good."

Thinking, "How good it is that I can do good even when I feel bad," will help you feel better. Especially, devote time to doing acts of kindness for those who could use your assistance. The more you think about others, the less time you will have for self-pity.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.180)

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#294   When Things Don’t Work Out as Planned 

 

Not everything will turn out the way we wish it would. Since we will have to deal with this, we need to think about how we will react when things don’t happen as planned. Your reactions to these situations will always depend on your self-talk.

If your self-talk is the kind you have when you are angry, sad, bitter, or stressed, you will become angry, sad, bitter, or stressed. If your self- talk is the kind you have when you react wisely or joyfully, you will become wiser or joyful.

If your self-talk is the kind you have when you react in a spiritually elevated way, you will become more spiritual. If your self-talk is the kind you have when you find something good and positive, you will find something good and positive and will feel good.

Regardless of your initial reaction, you can always choose to change your current self-talk. You can learn to respond in the way that you really wish to respond.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.222-3) [Artscroll.com])

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#295   Accept Feeling Sad 

 

Some people feel guilty about feeling sad: "I shouldn't be feeling sad. How awful I am for feeling sad."

This attitude actually increases feelings of sadness, not decreases them. It is wiser to accept your feelings of sadness than to fight them. Challenge the thoughts that breed sadness, but accept those feelings.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.176)

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#297   Take The Lead

 

The Talmud (Makkot 10b) states that a person will be led on the path that he truly wants to travel on.

What path is this for you? How far along this path will you go? This depends on your enthusiasm and persistence. Right this moment be resolved to become even more enthusiastic about reaching your most important goals. (Or become more enthusiastic about formulating your goals.) Be resolved right now to persist along the path. Don't just sit down in the middle of the road. Don't get sidetracked and wander to the right or left. Persist. Keep going. Regardless of your speed, when you persist you will eventually get there.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.72)

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#298   On the Right Road Print Version »

 

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm used to say that when a person travels to a party which he looks forward to attending, he is happy all the way there in anticipation of having a good time at the party.

Similarly, a person who lives a life of good deeds can be constantly happy, knowing that he is traveling along the road to everlasting pleasure.

(see Ahavas Maishorim, p.82; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.108)

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#299   For Those Thankless Tasks 

 

When people try to humiliate and insult you for doing a good deed, be happy! Why? Because the less honor you receive, the more you manifest love for the good deed itself.

Feel extra joy when you fulfill a good deed for which you receive no approval or honor. The merit of such good deeds is greater than when you receive honor for a good deed.

(see Rabbi Yechezkel Leventstein - Kovetz Inyanim; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.106)

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#300   You Are Not At Risk 

 

Fear of failure is a prime cause of anxiety. People think, "If I don't succeed, I am a worthless failure."

Someone who fears failure is not willing to take the risks that are an essential ingredient in every new undertaking. This prevents him from taking action in many situations in which he could accomplish a great deal.

If someone accepts that his intrinsic worth as a person is never at risk ― even if he does not succeed at a given task ― then he is likely to try much more to accomplish.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.131)

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#301   Get Beyond the Mask 

 

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.179)

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#302   Worry is Created by Self-Talk

 

The more you engage in joyful and grateful self-talk, the more your mind will be free from worry.

Some people tell themselves, "It’s my nature to worry." But the truth is that no one is born a worrier. A person might have started worrying at a young age and have many early memories of worrying. A person might find it very difficult not to worry. But this isn’t someone’s basic nature. Worry is essentially self-talk about something negative that you hope won’t happen. You feel anxious and distressed about the possibility.

One way out of the worry pattern is to think of potential solutions. Whenever you worry about something, imagine three or more alternate outcomes.

A happy and joyful person has mastered the art of thinking in patterns that create happiness and joy. Let this be your mind.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.258-9) [Artscroll.com])

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#303   Love Criticism 

 

Work on developing a love for accepting criticism. When you have a sincere desire to grow and develop, you will appreciate the opportunities that arise for further growth and development.

Criticism expressed with profound love and concern is easier to handle than criticism expressed with anger or condescension. But if what is said to you is beneficial for you, accept it regardless of how it is said.

(See Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Self Knowledge, pp.184-6)

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#304   Soften Criticism 

 

If someone is critical of you in a harsh tone of voice, try telling them the following:

"I appreciate your strong feelings about the matter, but I would appreciate the comments more if they were expressed more pleasantly."

(See Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Self Knowledge, pp.184-6)

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#305   Thanks For The Criticism 

 

Be resolved for the next two weeks to thank anyone who criticizes you.

Visualize yourself being able to do this with a sense of inner joy. Since you're mentally prepared to do this, it will be much easier to implement.

(See Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Self Knowledge, pp.184-6)

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#306   Talking to the Little Child Within 

 

We all have many positive messages stored in our mind since childhood. Counterproductive and limiting messages are stored, too. We may have outgrown many of them. but often, not all of them. Now, in the present, we have the ability to talk to the "little child" within, as it were. You can immerse your childhood self with positive and life-enhancing messages.

Some people find that giving encouraging and empowering messages to their "inner child" helps them do more than just develop new attitudes and mindsets.

What is the main message that is so important for every child to have? It is the awareness that he is a valuable human being. He is lovable; other people will like him and want to be friends with him. He has positive qualities now and he will be able to continue developing these and other positive qualities throughout his life. He is competent and able to do many things, and he will be able to keep learning new things throughout his life.

People who already have these positive attitudes, beliefs, and mind-sets are fortunate. Those who don’t yet have them need to make it a high priority to keep developing them. By talking to your "inner child" directly, you can make it easier for your mind to integrate these basic and fundamental attitudes towards yourself and your life.

Think of some positive things that you wished someone would have told you when you were growing up. Now you can say these and similar things to your "inner child." You know better than anyone else what your "inner child" needs to hear. Say it in ways that your "inner child" will understand.

As you keep growing and developing, you become more aware of your true talents, skills, and abilities. When you were younger, wouldn’t it have been wonderful if

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#307   Power Up With Enthusiasm

 

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm (19th century Europe) wrote: "There is no comparison between doing something with enthusiasm and joy and doing it without enthusiasm and joy. If we would do everything with enthusiasm, there is no limit to the elevated levels we would reach. Enthusiasm generates power. A person with enthusiasm is able to overcome laziness and pursue wisdom and higher spiritual levels."

Live today with enthusiasm. "But," you might say, "there are many things I have to do that I'm not interested in doing." But wouldn't you do it with enthusiasm if you were being paid a large amount of money to do it?!

Knowing that you have the ability to generate enthusiasm will transform the entire quality of your life. Hear the inner sounds of enthusiasm. Feel the feelings of enthusiasm permeating your entire being.

Today, pick a task you've been procrastinating - and generate enthusiasm to accomplish it!

(see Chochmah Umussar, vol.2, p.172; cited in Gateway to Happiness, p.25)

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#308   Don't Let Materialism Distract You 

 

A man once said to the Chafetz Chaim, "Rabbi, I have just bought a lottery ticket. Could you please give me a blessing that I will win, since the money I acquire will enable me to study Torah with peace of mind."

The Chafetz Chaim gently blessed him, "May the Almighty help you study Torah with peace of mind."

The man was disappointed that the Chafetz Chaim did not give him a blessing to win the lottery. It occurred to him that perhaps the Chafetz Chaim did not hear him exactly, so he repeated - this time in a louder voice - that he would like a blessing to win the lottery.

Very calmly the Chafetz Chaim reiterated the same blessing, word for word as before.

Today, ask yourself: Are my material possessions in any way distracting me from the real goals of life?

(see HaChafetz Chaim, vol.3, p.1141; Gateway to Happiness, pp.76-7)

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#309   Find Pleasure in Torah Learning 

 

Every person, regardless of his level of understanding, has the ability to derive pleasure from his Torah studies. Just as great sages like Rabbi Akiva and the Vilna Gaon derived pleasure from their level, so too a young child can appreciate what he studies on his own level.

That is one of the greatest beauties of the depth of Torah.

(Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz; Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol.2, p.67; see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.99)

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#310   The Wealth Of Torah 

 

During a holiday, students at the Lakewood Yeshiva were elated at the words of Rabbi Aharon Kotler, the Rosh Yeshiva, who had just delivered an inspiring holiday lecture.

At the end of his talk, the students began to sing a tune to the words from King David's Psalms, "Were it not for Thy Torah being my delight, I would have succumbed to my poverty..."

Rabbi Kotler interrupted the singing, and said with great joy:

"King David was tremendously wealthy. Yet except for the enduring possession of Torah, King David was drowning in a sea of poverty!"

(Rabbi Shaul Kagan - Jewish Observer 5/73; cited in Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.97)

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#311   Feel Joy In Overcoming Obstacles 

 

A powerful general will prefer difficult military assignments because he wants to show his strength and abilities when he is victorious.

Similarly, if you feel strong love for another person, you will experience joy when you find opportunities to express the full extent of love for that person.

So, too, when you have a strong love for the Almighty, the greater the obstacles in your path when trying to serve Him, the more joy you will experience - because this is an opportunity to show the strength of your commitment.

The next time you face an obstacle, focus on the fact that this enables you to feel greater love for the Almighty. Feel a sense of joy and empowerment that you can express your love by overcoming obstacles.

(see Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto - Path of the Just, ch.19)

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#312   Boost Your Self-Esteem Objectively

 

People with low self-esteem are frequently very good people by objective standards, but have high aspirations and hence feel frustrated in not reaching their lofty goals. Since they are not perfect, they consider themselves failures and this leads to many negative consequences.

It is important for such people to realize they are thinking in either/or terms: "Either I am perfect, or else I am a failure."

In truth, each area of behavior and personality has numerous levels along a continuum. If you are not perfect, you need not rate yourself as a failure. Focus on improvement, instead of absolute perfection.

It is worthwhile for a person with low self-esteem to write a list of the minimum standards of a basically good person. He is then able to see more objectively whether or not he is meeting those standards.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.132)

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#313   Self-Conscious About Praise 

 

Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak, the Chozeh of Lublin, once praised someone in the presence of other people, and the person's face turned red. The rabbi told him, "You have not yet reached the proper level. Work on yourself to react to praise and insults in the same manner. Try to rise above caring whether someone praises or insults you. You are still too self-conscious about being praised."

(Eser Orot, p.94; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.284)

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#314   See Frustrations in Perspective 

 

A basic reason we get angry is because we exaggerate the importance of things. When we realize that something is trivial and unimportant, we don't become angry.

Whenever you feel angry about something, try to see how petty the matter is in the big picture. The vast majority of occurrences fall into this category. Keep in mind that we are in this world for a very short time, and the things that upset us are of minor importance in the entire scheme of the universe.

(Erech Apayim ,p.94; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p .202-3)