Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#315   Remodel Your Anger Mistakes 

 

Realize that even the greatest people make errors of judgment when they are angry. Moshe was on an extremely high spiritual level and had profound insights. Nevertheless, when he became angry he erred in understanding the Almighty's will.

Think of three incidents when you made mistakes because you became angry. Right now, mentally "relive" those situations and imagine yourself handling them instead in the best possible way. Let this serve as a resource for the future.

(see Ralbag - Shaar hasavslanus, no.10)

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#316   Take A Relaxing Break 

 

Regardless of your physical condition, your present state is determined by your thoughts. Your emotional reality depends upon the focus of your mind.

Today, think of five places, either places you have already visited or would like to, that you can go to for mental vacations. Mentally go to a place where you will automatically experience the state you wish to be in.

Remember: Since we are dealing with your mind, no place is too far away. And the transportation costs are always free.

(see Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz - Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol. 2, pp.6-7)

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#317   Use Events For Character Building 

 

Every event and situation in your life is designed as a test of your character. For example, both poverty and wealth are tests. A wealthy person is tempted to become arrogant and forget the Almighty. A poor person, meanwhile, may be tempted to steal or commit fraud. Whether life is going smoothly, or whether it has suffering, it is all part of God's plan to strengthen our moral character.

This perspective will change our response to any event that occurs in our lives. Knowing that something is a "test of character" will make it easier to past those tests with flying colors!

Today, think of a recent event in which you may have mishandled the situation, or responded inappropriately. Then work through what can you now do to correct that and transform it into a spiritual victory.

(see Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto - Path of the Just, ch. 1)

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#318   Find Hidden Openings for Kindness 

 

When you identify yourself as a person who loves kindness, you will notice opportunities you hadn't noticed before. You will always feel that it's up to you to do as much good as you can in your life.

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#319   The Greatest Day of Your Life 

 

What would help you view today as the greatest day of your life? If today you have a greater awareness of your immense intrinsic value than ever before, then today is the greatest day of your life. If today you decide to upgrade your character beyond ways that you have done before, then today is the greatest day of your life. If today you make goals and plans that go beyond previous goals and plans, then today is the greatest day of your life.

If today you have a greater spiritual awareness and feel more connected with the Creator than ever before, then today is the greatest day of your life.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.105)

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#320   Be Respectful, No Matter What 

 

The Torah gives us an important rule in relationships: Even though you are suffering, you have no right to cause suffering to others. Whatever your distress, you still need to speak and act with respect. If you are ever in a bad mood, be especially careful not to speak or act to others in a way that will be distressful for them.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, 246; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#321   Keep Focused On Your Goal 

 

Always ask yourself: "What is my goal right now?"

When you keep focused on a specific goal, you are less likely to get sidetracked by venting your anger at someone. You'll discover that your real goal is incompatible with losing your temper and shouting.

For example, an employer wants his employee to do a good job. Encouragement is more likely to achieve that goal than yelling. Similarly, parents want their children to learn positive values. A friendly, warm talk is more effective than angry outbursts.

By being aware of your original target and goal, you will stay focused and accomplish more.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.211)

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#322   Growth Is Gradual 

 

A person who tries to force himself to change his character in an extremely short time is apt to become depressed and will not be successful. Set reasonable goals for yourself. Work on your faults little by little.

If you make impossible demands on yourself, you will feel frustrated and miserable.

(from Cheshbon Hanefesh #17; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.177)

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#323   Fear Of Disapproval

 

Frequently people worry about the possibility that others might fail to show them respect and approval. While details differ for each person, the underlying factor is fear of disapproval -- people might think you lack intelligence, or other virtues and abilities.

Realize that the pain you suffer from worrying about this is much greater than that of actual disapproval.

Try to accept the worst. Imagine that every person who sees you will have a low opinion of you. Emotionally accept this. Once you've accepted this, although you might not like it, you will no longer need to worry about lack of approval.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.163)

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#324   Mentally Prepare For Challenges

 

The more mentally prepared you are for challenges to your being in a serene state, the greater your ability to maintain this state. The goal to strive for is to be able to remain in a serene state even when other people say and do things that could potentially cause distress. Mentally practice remaining serene regardless of what anyone says. Knowing that you can do this in your imagination will free you from worrying about what anyone may say in the future.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.78)

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#325   Wise Person's Goal 

 

A wise man said, "Most people do not feel bad because they lack wisdom; they feel bad because people say they lack wisdom."

The honor-seeker does not study wisdom to become wiser. Rather, his goal is to show off how wise he is. This is an attribute of a fool (Proverbs 18:2). A truly wise person's goal is to gain more wisdom whether or not he gains honor.

(Chayai Hamussar, vol.1, p.72 ; Kol Tzofayich, vol.1, pp.345-6; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.280)

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#326   Don't Buy Approval 

 

The Chafetz Chaim wrote that a major reason some people live beyond their means is to gain approval. They feel the need to spend large amounts of money on things that will gain them status, even though they are unable to afford them.

This is the opposite of a Torah way of life.

(Kuntros Nefutzos Yisroel, ch.6; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.271)

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#327   Show Them Their Potential 

 

If someone sees himself as inferior, you can help change his attitude by seeing him now as the potentially great person he could possibly become.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.218)

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#328   Respond To Disrespect With Dignity 

 

Anger frequently comes from feeling that someone did not treat you with the proper respect. People tend to feel angry with someone who fails to show them the honor they think they deserve.

The solution is to contemplate how valueless honor really is.

When you react to slights to your honor with a sense of personal dignity, you gain much more than when you lose your temper. The greater your own realization that you have intrinsic worth since you are created in the image of the Almighty, the less the slights of mortals will affect you.

(Maaneh Rach, Ch.6; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.196)

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#329   Guard Your Health 

 

There is a Torah commandment to guard our health. High levels of stress cause many health problems. Your immune system works best when you are calm and serene. The efforts one makes to alleviate stress is the fulfillment of the Creator's will. As our loving Father, He wants us to be well.

Viewing decreasing stress and increasing serenity as a spiritual obligation will raise this to a higher priority. Moreover, we should strive to experience joy in doing the Almighty's will (in Hebrew this is called Simcha shel mitzvah). This adds a major dimension to the entire process.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.108)

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#330   Fear Of Disapproval

 

Realize that no matter what you do, you won't obtain unanimous approval. Therefore never let the fear of disapproval of others prevent you from doing the right thing.

Lack of approval will only distress you if you allow it to. Ultimately, any emotional power anyone has over you is the power you decide to give that person.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge,"pp.121-5)

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#331   Recognize Your Potential 

 

Negative character traits come from discouragement. A person with faulty traits does not think of himself in elevated terms. He thinks he does not have the inner strength and potential to reach greatness. Only when a person recognizes that he has the potential to reach the most elevated levels will he strive for that!

("Hoshlomas Hamidos," p. 3; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.116)

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#332   Trust Can Lower Your Anxiety

 

"Bitochon" is the awareness that the Creator is running the world and all that happens is for your ultimate benefit. The more bitochon you have, the less anxiety you will experience.

When you have an internalized awareness that all that He does is for your good, you will find yourself experiencing greater degrees of inner peace and serenity.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.116-8)

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#333   Picture Success
 

We were put into this world to accomplish. Each of us has a unique mission. There are many different forms of personal achievement, just as there are different people on our planet.

Make it a regular habit to imagine yourself accomplishing what you wish to accomplish. This will motivate yourself to accomplish more. As you create these visions in your mind's eye, you will be conditioning yourself in a way that - in reality - will lead to many positive accomplishments.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp. 101-2)

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#334   Choose To Never Embarrass
 

 

Be totally resolved never to say or do anything that would cause another person embarrassment.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.211-2)

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#335   The Benefits of Happiness 
 

Happiness is more precious than wealth. Commit your total self to master it. What will it take to make a strong commitment? Be aware of all the benefits of living a joyous life. Beyond all emotional, health, and material benefits, when you experience happiness and joy, you will be able to attain profound spiritual awareness and love for the Creator.

As the revered Chazon Ish wrote, "When a person merits becoming aware of the reality of the Almighty's existence, he will experience limitless joy. All of the pleasures of this world are as nothing compared to the intense pleasure of a person cleaving to his Creator." (Emunah U'bitochon 1:9)

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.17)

Edited May 4, 2015 by pkrause

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#336   Recognize Your Greatness 
 

 

A person is obligated to say:

"The world was created for me" (Talmud - Sanhedrin 37a), and

"When will my deeds reach the level of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?"

The Torah attitude is that we are obligated to be aware of our greatness. Feel proud that you are created in the image of the Almighty. Pride in the elevation of your soul is not only proper, but is actually an obligation to recognize your virtues and to live with this awareness.

(Toras Avraham, p.49; Gateway to Happiness, p.119)

Edited May 5, 2015 by pkrause

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#337   Humility With Greatness 
 

The type of humility the Torah advocates comes only after one realizes how elevated he really is. Then there is value to humility. A lack of this awareness is not a virtue, but a major fault.

Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman was asked if his teacher the Chafetz Chaim, who was an extremely humble person, was aware of his own greatness.

"Yes," Rabbi Elchonon replied. "Although the Chafetz Chaim was imbued with great humility, nevertheless he frequently acknowledged personal responsibility for the spiritual welfare of his entire generation."

(Chovos Halvovos 6:2; Ohr Elchonon, vol.1, p.64; Gateway to Happiness, p.124)

Edited May 6, 2015 by pkrause

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#338   True Acts of Kindness 
 

The less gratitude you receive for doing a kind act, the greater the value of the act. True kindness is when we do not receive anything in return for what we do.

Instead of feeling resentment towards the person who is ungrateful, take pleasure in doing a more elevated good deed. Focus on how your kindness towards that person is more altruistic.

Don't tell yourself, "How awful it is that I'm doing all this kindness and this person is not doing me favors in return." Rather, tell yourself, "This is a great opportunity to do a true act of kindness!"

(see Genesis 47:29 with Rashi; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.106)

Edited May 7, 2015 by pkrause

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#339   The Effect Of Kindness 
 

There are minor acts of kindness and major acts of kindness. Every kind deed and word is precious and valuable. Every kind deed and word is eternal.

And when your actions and words have a positive lifetime effect on someone, you have created something magnificent -- whether or not the extent of its greatness is recognized by any other mortal.

Edited May 9, 2015 by pkrause