Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#189   Replace Blame With Compassion 

 

A basic Torah principle is that when correcting someone, we need to do so with a sense of love and compassion. When you speak in a blaming manner, the message you give is not a loving one.

If there is a specific person you tend to speak to in a blaming manner, be resolved to speak to more pleasantly.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.135-7)

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#190   Treat All Human Beings With Respect 

 

We have an obligation to treat all human beings with the highest level of respect. Our politeness should spring from an awareness that we are all created in the image of God.

Today, think of someone you don't treat with the respect that you know you should. The next time you interact with that person, go out of your way to treat him or her with the respect due to someone created in the image of God.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, pp.246-7; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#191   Commemorate Creation With Serenity 

 

One day a week the Torah tells us to celebrate the creation of the universe. In the beginning of the creation, the world was missing "menuchah" - a total day of rest. Shabbos, the seventh day of the week, was created to complete the Creation. Each week we once again commemorate the most amazing event in history. By resting on this day, we make a statement acknowledging the Creator's creation.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.98)

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#192   Just Do It

 

There are many things that we should do, but we procrastinate. We delay taking action. Doing nothing is often much easier then taking action. What can you say to get yourself moving? You can say, "Just do it."

Sometimes we really have a good reason or reasons for hesitating. Deep down we may feel that it's better for us not to take the action we're postponing. But we aren't yet clear about the entire matter. If you have an intuitive feeling that it might be unwise to take action, then wait. Think it over some more. Consult others.

But when you know that you or others will benefit if you take action and you don't have a valid reason for procrastinating, tell yourself, "Just do it."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.141) [Artscroll.com])

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#193   Service Tip 

 

Right this moment, there are a multitude of people all around the planet involved in serving you. Many of them you will never meet in person, but you will benefit greatly from their activities. There are farmers who are planting and harvesting for you. There are people in the clothing industry who are weaving the cloth and designing clothing you will eventually wear. There are trucks, boats, and planes that are shipping the food you will eat, the clothes you will wear, and many other items that you will buy or use. There are people who are involved in making certain that you have water, electricity, phone service, and books. The postal authorities are busy at work delivering the letters you sent and bringing you mail that others have sent you. There are inventors who are working day and night on items that will one day be yours. There are engineers, mechanics, and a wide variety of laborers all around the globe who toil for your benefit. There are medical researchers working to find cures for illness that might one day save your life. Whenever you see a large crowd of people, it is a reminder to be grateful to all of those who are involved in one way or another in enhancing the quality of your life.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.37-8)

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#194   Just Keep Silent

 

Sometimes we know that saying something will make a situation worse. We can tell ourselves to, "Just keep silent." If we feel tempted to speak negatively about someone, we can strengthen our resolve not to say it by telling ourselves, "Just keep silent."

The more difficult it is to keep silent, the greater the resulting spiritual elevation. When you tell yourself, "Just keep silent," your silence isn't just a passive state of being. Rather, it is an act of remaining silent.

In Tehillim (Psalms 34), King David tells us: "Who is the person who wants life and loves days that he may see good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit." Remaining silent instead of speaking against others enhances and lengthens life.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.145) [Artscroll.com])

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#195   Just Five Minutes 

 

Sometimes when we want to study, we find it difficult to keep our focus on the topic at hand. But telling yourself, Just five minutes," will probably extend your focus for the next five minutes. You might then decide to study for "just (another) five minutes." These five-minute segments can be renewed as often as you choose.

There are many tasks that might need your attention, but you don't feel like doing them. However, you could find it relatively easy to take action for only five minutes. "Just five minutes" will enable you to do many things that you would otherwise neglect. Variations of this theme are: "Just ten minutes." "Just thirty minutes." "Just one hour."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.142) [Artscroll.com])

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#196   Goal Setting

 

Character development and spiritual goals are ultimately the most fulfilling. Trivial goals are better than not having a goal. But don't limit yourself. The greater your goals, the greater your potential for accomplishment and the more fulfilling your life.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",(p.98)

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#197   Advance Your Thinking 

 

"How do I change the focus of my brain?" is a common question that people ask. "I tend to think of the negative. I worry a lot. My brain focuses way too much on thoughts that aren't conducive to happiness. How can I stop thinking about what I don't want to think about?"

A powerful tool that will help your brain move to the type of thoughts that you wish for is to tell it: "NEXT!" Then your brain will joyfully move on to another picture, idea, song, series of words, thoughts, imaginary scenes, visualizations, and anything else that brains like to do. Your brain can choose from an enormous amount of material that it already has stored in its immense library.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.32)

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#198   Just Once

 

There are many positive and beneficial things that we know we should do, but we may feel that continuing to do them will be too difficult. "How can I keep being this way all the time?" we ask ourselves.

Telling ourselves, "Just once," can help us start. After we do something positive once, we begin to build up momentum; it becomes easier than we had assumed to keep doing the positive action more frequently.

Doing a worthwhile action "just once" doesn't seem so daunting. The next time it comes up, say you'll do it "just once" again. Even if it truly is difficult, since we only have to motivate ourselves "just once," right now, we can build up our level of inspiration and motivation.

Think of something that you would want to do but also consider difficult to repeat. At the next opportunity, start by taking action "just once." If you're having difficulty thinking of something to do "just once," keep thinking until you find an area to apply the power of "Just once."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.148) [Artscroll.com])

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#199   Just Pause

 

Being impulsive causes many mistakes and errors. Doing things impulsively will cause loss, damage, and harm. Saying things impulsively will cause you to say things better left unsaid. Thinking before you speak will enable you to think of the best way to say something. Thinking before you take action will enable you to consider whether you should do something, and how to do it if you should.

The two words that will remind you to stop and think are, "Just pause." As you pause, think to yourself, "What is the wisest thing for me to say and do now?"

Practice building the association in your mind between, "Just pause," and, "What is the wisest thing for me to say and do now?" How do you build the association? It's quite easy. You just repeat these two sentences together a number of times. Repeat them with an upbeat tone of voice, or sing them with your own tune. Enjoy the process. This way you will access positive feelings when you recall this association in "real life."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.150) [Artscroll.com])

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#200   Just Say It

 

Imagine feeling uncomfortable about saying something important, valuable, or beneficial, even when you know it would be best to say it. You should tell yourself, "Just say it." Think of a role model who is able to "just say it" at the right time. It might help you to imagine being that person to get yourself to "just say it."

If you have a valid reason for not saying something, don't say it. If you feel that it would be wrong to say something, don't say it. If your words will cause unnecessary distress, don't say them.

Some people find it difficult to convey positive feedback and praise. They can say to themselves, "Just say it."

Some people are not as outgoing and outspoken as they would like to be. They should tell themselves, "Just say it."

The more you say what you should say, the easier it will become for you to "just say it."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.153) [Artscroll.com])

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#202   Grow Into Giving 

 

Some people feel overwhelmed by the concept of consistently doing acts of kindness. "It seems so difficult to keep thinking about others. I have a lot to do for myself and I can't always think of others."

The solution is to begin little by little.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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#201   Emotional Understanding 

 

In your dealings with other people, do not relate to them only with cold logic. Rather take their emotions and individual personalities into consideration.

These few words can take a lifetime to master. Speaking logically is generally straight and simple. But understanding the unique personalities and emotions of human beings is much more complex.

As a practical tool, focus on those who interact with you in an understanding, caring way. Learn from them.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, pp. 244-5)

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#203   Favorite Memories 

 

If you would like to recall your favorite memories, here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. What are five of my favorite memories?

2. How do I feel when I remember them?

3. What are the main patterns of my favorite memories?

4. In what ways will I benefit from recalling these memories more often?

5. When is a good time to recall each of these memories?

6. What can I learn from these memories?

7. What do I lose out by not recalling my favorite memories?

8. What will help me remember to recall my favorite memories more often?

9. What can I do now to create more memories that I would benefit from recalling?

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", p.160) [Artscroll.com])

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#205   Joy While Praying

 

The Talmud (Brachot 31a) states that when praying it is important not to be in any state of sadness. There is no contradiction between seriousness, which is an obligation during prayer, and joy. On the contrary, they go hand in hand when a person stands in prayer before the Almighty.

(Alai Shur, vol. 1, p.65; see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.100)

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#204   Conceit vs. Inner Strength

 

External displays of arrogance and conceit are signs of an inner feeling of weakness. An insecure person tries to hide that insecurity by bluffing strength.

The arrogant person should realize that all he has, even wisdom, is a gift from the Almighty. It is a gift entirely undeserved, since it comes from the source of all wisdom, given over to a being without any original intelligence.

Is there any basis for someone who receives a large gift to feel conceited, compared to someone who received a smaller gift?

(Toras Avraham, p.188; Gateway to Happiness, p.126)

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#206   Feel Joy When Learning 

 

The more joy you experience when learning something new, the greater will be your retention.

(The Steipler in Birchas Peretz, p.11; see Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.98)

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#207   Worth Repeating

 

"Serve the Almighty with joy, come before Him with singing" (Psalms 100:2).

The verse is recited daily in the morning prayers. But we have to internalize its message. Repeat this verse as often as possible, while thinking about what it means and how you can apply it.

This is especially important for a person with a tendency towards sadness. A sad person mentally repeats hundreds of sad messages a day. Repeating a verse with a positive, joyous message will serve as a good counter-balance.

(see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.110)

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#208   Deliberate Before Acting 

 

The fool acts impulsively. He does whatever he thinks of doing and he does not listen to what anyone else has to say.

The wise person, however, does not rely only on his own judgment. Rather, he thinks the matter through thoroughly, and consults other wise people before taking action.

Avoid doing things impulsively that you might regret. Practice the art of "thinking." It's habit forming and enjoyable!

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 12:15; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#209   Keep On Building Your Self-Confidence

 

Self-confidence is one of the most beneficial qualities that one can have. People with self-confidence feel good about themselves. They feel good about their knowledge, their talents, and their abilities. They feel confident that things will work out well for them. They know that they can learn the knowledge and skills that they need and want.

Some young children naturally develop this quality. Some people have thoughts and feelings of self-confidence because they have role models with self-confidence that they have emulated. Some people have had parents and teachers and other friends and relatives who have given them plenty of positive feedback. This positive feedback helped them see themselves in a positive light.

Confidence and self-confidence are learnable skills. So even if someone doesn't yet have the confidence and self-confidence that he would like to have, he can build it alone or with the help of others. How do you continue to build your self-confidence? When you see that you already know something, that you learned something, or that you can do something, comment to yourself, "I see I know this," or "I just learned this. Now I know it," or "I see that I know how to do this." Every time? Of course not. Just as many times as you feel is best for you.

Confidence means that you feel certain that you know something or that you can do something. We all start off in life not knowing anything and not being able to do anything. Those who are confident tell themselves that they know the things about which they are confident.

Being confident does not mean that you should speak in a tone of voice that sounds contrived, forced, pompous, arrogant, or like a show off. Rather, you can speak in your regular tone of voice and have an attitude of knowing things.

Being confident means knowing that you know some things and that you can learn many things that you presently don't know. You can ask others for the information you need. You can ask others to show you how to do things that you can't yet do. You can read books, pamphlets, or reports that give instructions about how to do things.

Being confident also means knowing that you can find people who will be able assist you when you can't do something yourself. In many instances, a kind stranger will be glad to give you assistance. As long as you know how to ask, you can consider yourself confident that you can find ways to get things done.

If you would like to build your self-confidence, tell yourself, "I keep building my self-confidence all the time. I know much more now than when I started off in life. As I keep learning more things and have more experience, my self-confidence gets stronger and stronger."

You don't need to wait until you feel 100% self-confident. At any given moment, you can say to yourself, "I will speak and act like a person with balanced self-confidence." Just speak and act like that right away. You will find that when you speak and act with self- confidence, other people tend to treat you with more respect.

Those who realize the value of every human being will always treat you and others with great respect. But even those who have not yet reached the level will begin to treat you with greater respect when you have greater respect for yourself. Self-respect is a birth-right. You don't need anyone else's permission to have self-respect. Claim it. It's yours.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.162-4) [Artscroll.com])

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#210   Be Thankful for Every Breath 

 

The Midrash (Genesis Raba 14:11) says that with every single breath, we should express our gratitude to the Almighty.

Today, put aside two minutes and feel gratitude for "breath."

(see Gateway to Happiness, pp.45-6)

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#211   Feel the Joy of Living

 

Appreciate the gift of life. At least once every day, feel the simple joy of being alive.

Imagine yourself in a situation in which you're about to die. Concentrate and feel what that would be like. Then picture yourself being given another chance. The more vividly you can imagine this, the greater you will be able to feel the joy of life itself.

(see Chinuch V'edun Hahergeshim, p.330; Gateway to Happiness, p.39)

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#212   Self-Talk of Persistence and Perseverance 

 

Being persistent is the number one pattern that will enable you to create success in your life. When you persist and persevere until you reach your goal, you can accomplish so much more than if you give up when you are bored or when challenges arise.

One thing is true of everyone who has reached large goals. They all persisted until they succeeded. Many people start worthy projects, but they give up before they reach the goal that they set for themselves.

Self-talk is the source of someone's ability or failure to persist and persevere. What is the self-talk of persistence?

"I'll keep on going as long as it takes. What I'm working on is worth the investment of time and energy."

"As I build up the habit of persisting, I can accomplish many more things in my life. So it's not only the present project that I will be completing. Finishing this project will help me achieve in more and more ways."

"I feel great about being persistent. I am building my entire character in the process."

"I see the goal that I am striving for. I am enjoying every step along the way."

Always learn from your past successes. Think of instances when you persisted and were later glad that you did. What did you tell yourself to enable yourself to persist? Tell yourself similar things when you want to persist in the future.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.166-8) [Artscroll.com])

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#213   What Do You Say to Yourself After Someone Criticizes You? 

 

Imagine that someone criticizes you. Then imagine yourself feeling joyful about this wonderful opportunity to learn something positive from the criticism. Imagine that you love to hear feedback about what you've said and done or didn't say and do. Positive feedback means that you are on track. Critical feedback means that you can now improve and develop yourself.

Imagine that your self-talk sounds like, "I appreciate and am grateful for this wonderful opportunity to become better. I am grateful to this person for telling me something that will be beneficial for me."

If you actually respond to criticism this way, congratulations! It shows that you have integrated one of the elevated qualities listed in the 48 factors to acquire Torah.

If you are like most people, however, you don't think of critical feedback as one of your greatest pleasures in life. But if you have the inner strength, courage, and honesty to be open to hearing criticism, you will grow more in life.

So what can you say to yourself if you have not yet mastered the ability to love criticism?

One possibility is: "My goal is to constantly grow and develop myself. I love positive feedback. But I can grow from critical feedback. So I will increase my inner strength, courage, and honesty to be open to hear what people say, and to weigh what they say objectively."

You don't have to feel bad about yourself because someone gave you critical feedback. Your value as a person is inherent, because you are a child of the Creator and are created in His image. You have many positive qualities and have done many positive things. Your value and worth are infinite. Integrating this attitude will ensure that your sense of self-worth will remain consistently high.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.174-5) [Artscroll.com])