Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#139   Set Your Life To Music

 

"When you attend a wedding, take the band with you," the Rabbi of Lublin, Rabbi Meir Shapiro, advised his students.

Rabbi Shapiro was a creative Torah leader and educator and mastered joy in all circumstances. His deathbed scene has become one of the most famous in Jewish history. He constantly taught, "Everything we do in life, we should do with joy. Even dying." So as he was breathing his last breaths, he asked his students to dance and sing around his bed. What an amazing teacher! With one statement, he taught them how to live and how to die.

Wherever you are and wherever you go, you can create a mental symphony orchestra. If you prefer, you can create a lively band playing simple tunes. And as you become more of an expert at this, you can increase the amount of musical instruments you will see and hear in your brain. You can have as many drums as you wish, if you enjoy booming loud music. You can have pianos or violins, harps or guitars, horns or accordions, and any unique combination you choose.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.53)

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#140   Have the Character to Admit Mistakes

 

A person who feels he must always be right in an argument may be manifesting a lack of self-esteem. Such a person could be telling himself, "Unless I am always right, I am a failure and a nobody." He fears to admit making a mistake, because he thinks it will lower his value as a person.

However, a person who is a truth seeker and readily admits his mistakes, will gain both the respect of others and will ultimately have more self-respect. Instead of looking at admitting mistakes as a sign of weakness, he looks at it as a sign of intellectual honesty.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, pp.131-2)

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#141   Feel the Benefit of Kindness

 

What if you don't spontaneously feel joy for doing acts of kindness? Be aware of how you are elevating yourself and becoming a better person.

Imagine the good feelings you would have if someone helped you in the way you are helping others. By entering his world and feeling what he is feeling, you gain a greater appreciation for what you are doing.

You may find this technique difficult, but as you begin to experience it, you increase your ability to do so.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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#142   Persevere in Your Studie

 

In a letter to someone who found it difficult to study Torah, the 20th century sage the Chazon Ish wrote:

"Some people find it hard to be diligent in their Torah studies. But the difficulty persists only for a short while - if the person sincerely resolves to submerge himself in his studies. Very quickly the feelings of difficulty will go away and he will find that there is no worldly pleasure that can compare with the pleasure of studying Torah diligently."

(Kovetz Igraos, vol.1, no.8; see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.99)

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#143   Love Comes From Giving

 

Love comes from "giving to someone." When you do altruistic acts of kindness, you are giving the other person part of yourself. You will therefore feel love for the recipient of your acts of kindness - because you will find yourself included in the other person and you will identify with him. Just as you love yourself, so too will you love the other person.

The ultimate level to strive for is that even if someone wrongs you, you will view it the same as if someone's right hand accidentally cut their own left hand. Of course while you will try to prevent this from happening, you will not take revenge on your own hand!!

The degree of love as you have for yourself is the degree of love we should have for others.

Today, think of a specific person who would gain greatly from your being more giving. (If you can't think of anyone, that person might be you...)

(see Talmud - Yerushalmi Nedorim 9:4; Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.3, pp.89-90)

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#144   Growth Amidst Difficulties

 

If a person internalizes the awareness that everything the Almighty does is for the good, he will not worry.

The story is told of a poor man who devoted his life to Torah study, and although he lived a life of poverty, he was constantly happy. One day at noon he began to cry because he feared he had made a blessing in vain. During the morning service he recited the blessing that "the Almighty has met all my needs." But on this day he had not yet eaten anything and had no money to buy food.

Then he realized poverty itself was his specific need. That was his life challenge: to see if he could live properly and righteously amidst his difficulties.

(Derech Slulah, p.10; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.165)

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#145   Use Your Strengths to Lift You

 

A person who tends to feel unhappy and discouraged should be cautious about working on humility. Such a person needs to focus on his virtues and strengths. Focusing on his faults and shortcomings is likely to destroy the small amount of joy he does have.

(Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe - "Alai Shur," vol. 1, p.65; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.117)

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#146   Compensate for Each Other's Differences

 

Imagine two people who are very different from each other. This needn't be a source of conflict. Rather, if each one focuses on how to help the other, then the differences between them will actually make their personalities complementary.

Not only will they like each other despite their differences, but rather, because of them. They will even become closer, because their differences provide more opportunities to be of service to each other.

Contrast this to those who focus on what he can take from the other. They will quarrel frequently and eventually end up hating one another.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.3, pp.33-4; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#147   Disapproval May Not Be Warrante

 

Rabbi Naftali of Ropshitz commented, "There will always be people who criticize the behavior of others, regardless of how great they are or what they do."

When someone disapproves of your behavior, it does not necessarily prove you are truly at fault. It is always possible to complain about others' behavior. Another person's disapproval of you may be his personal opinion or critical tendency.

(Eser Tzchich'tzachus, p.97; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.289)

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#148   Help Make Friends

 

Giving to others will increase your love for them. If you make an effort to help everyone you meet, you will feel close to everyone. Doing acts of kindness for everyone fills your world with friends and loved ones.

"A stranger is someone you have not yet helped."

(Rabbi E.E. Dessler - Michtav M'Eliyahu, vol.1, pp.36-7; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.137)

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#149   You Live in the World of Your Thoughts

 

You live in the world of your thoughts. A large portion of that world involves the conversations that you are engaged in with yourself.

Throughout the day you engage in self-talk. You comment to yourself about what you are experiencing now, what you've experienced in the past, and what you might experience in the future.

There are patterns of self-talk that can create needless and excessive distress, anxiety, anger, fear, and worry. By recognizing the patterns of thoughts that make you feel bad and limit you, you become aware of the negative patterns that you need to reduce.

On the other hand, there are patterns of self-talk that create appreciation and gratitude, happiness and joy, positive character traits and attributes, kindness and compassion, hope and encouragement. There is self-talk that enables you to make and reach worthwhile goals, that develop your spiritual elevation, that connects you with the Almighty.

The first step to improving your self-talk is to realize the power of what you say to yourself. The more you appreciate that your self-talk decides the quality of your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, the more motivated you'll be to upgrade the quality of your self-talk.

([From: Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.17-8] (Artscroll.com)

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#150   Be Resolved to Upgrade Your Self-Talk

 

Many deficiencies, limitations, and problems that people have in life are essentially rooted in their self-talk. The solution: better and wiser self-talk.

Regardless of the your usual patterns of self-conversation, right this moment it would be wise to be resolved to improve the way you talk to yourself.

Ask yourself, "What self-talk will make the biggest positive difference in my life?"

The resolution to improve your self-talk isn't just one more resolution to add to a long list. Rather, it is something basic that will help you throughout the day, each and every day.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", P.20) [Artscroll.com])

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#151   You Become What You Think About

 

One of the most important and valuable concepts about our mind and thoughts is that you become what you think about.

This idea has the potential to be highly empowering. It means that by gaining greater mastery over your thoughts, you gain greater mastery over your life. It means that by mastering your thoughts, you will be able to make and reach important goals.

When you consistently think about being happy and joyful in your life, you will become happier and more joyful.

When you consistently think about being kinder and more compassionate, you will become kinder and more compassionate.

When you consistently think about being more confident and courageous, you will become more confident and courageous.

When you consistently think about being calm and serene, you will become calmer and more serene.

When you consistently think about being more patient and persistent, you will become more patient and persistent.

When you consistently think about your most important goals in life and what you need to do to reach them, you will find yourself accomplishing and achieving more.

When you consistently think about being more elevated and spiritual, you will become that way.

([from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", P.23) [Artscroll.com])

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#152   All Self-Talk is in the Present

 

Whenever you have a self-conversation, you are always talking to yourself in the present moment. And in each present moment, you get to choose what you think, what you say, and what you do.

You can express it this way: "I am always in the here and now, and in the here and now, I create my present experience with the thoughts that I choose to think."

This idea is tremendously empowering. This idea can enable you to free yourself from much of the distress that you might unnecessarily cause yourself. Everything you actually experience is your present experience, and your present experience is based on the thoughts that you think right now.

To master any positive quality, you must master being able to access or create that positive quality in the present moment. Let's say that you would like to master the ability to be happy and joyful whenever you wish. You only need to be able to access or create happiness and joy right now. As you do this, you will realize, "I am always in the now. Because I can be happy or joyful now, I can choose to experience this whenever I wish."

The same applies to many attributes: you only need to access them now, not in the future. You only need to choose kindness and compassion in the present moment. You only need to choose patience and serenity in the present moment.

You only need to access your courage in the present moment. Some moments will be easier than others. But as long as you have courage stored in your brain (which is always with you), any time you think that it would be great to have courage now, you'll have all you need to have courage now. This way of looking at courage makes it much easier. You don't need to think about maintaining courage later on. You only need it now. And whenever you want to experience courage, you will be in the "now."

Whenever you think about the past, you aren't in the past anymore. You are in the present thinking about the past.

Whenever you think about the future, you aren't in the future yet. You are in the present thinking about the future.

People who have mastered the ability to realize that their thoughts are always in the present free themselves from much worry. All worry is about the future. The future is unknown right now. You can pray for the future. And it is wise to plan for the future. But since you are always in the present, it's not a sensible thing to cause yourself needless distress or suffering for what might or might not be later on. It is better to utilize your time in the wisest way for now.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", PP.30-1) [Artscroll.com])

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#153   All Events and Situations are Neutral Until You Have Self-Talk About it

 

Realizing that your self-talk is a key factor of the way you view any event or situation allows you to understand the power of your self-talk.

Your self-talk is the key factor that decides whether you will live a happy life or an unhappy life; whether you frequently experience positive things or negative things. Your self-talk is the key factor that changes encounters with kind, friendly, helpful people into encounters with cold, selfish, and uncaring people, or vice versa.

When someone really comprehends the power of self-talk, he understands on a deep level that his life experiences depend on how he views them. Your outlook is the key to the quality of your life. The difficulty involved with dealing with potentially challenging situations and people depends on your viewpoint and perspective. Your viewpoint, based on your self-talk, makes the situation harder to deal with, or easier.

When you have a "good eye" and see events and people in a positive light, you will have a totally different experience than someone who has a "bad eye." With a "bad eye," you see problems and hardships and difficulties everywhere. With a "good eye," people treat you better and life events will work in your favor. You see opportunities, where those with a "bad eye" see misfortune.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.35-6) [Artscroll.com])

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#154   Clarify Your Life Purpose and Mission

 

Your life's purpose and mission are the top topics about which to have self-conversations.

If you are reading this now, that means that you are alive. What are you living for? What is your life purpose and mission?

We all want to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Make it your number one priority to clarify your life purpose and mission.

Some people are always very clear about what they really want in life. Great people are aware of a great life purpose. They are clear about their mission in life. What they think, say, and do is aligned with their essential values. This is why their thoughts, words, and actions create a great person.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.43-4) [Artscroll.com])

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#155   Telling Yourself the Story of Your Life

 

What is the story of your life? The story you choose to tell yourself about your life has a tremendous impact on your self-image, on making and reaching goals, on your character traits, and on your level of happiness.

Some people think, "I don't choose to tell myself a story about my life. My life happened. When I tell myself and others about my life, I am just recounting the objective picture of my life.

Sorry. There is no such thing as an objective picture of your life. All experiences are experienced subjectively.

What does this mean? It means that the way you think about what happened in your life is the way that you experience what was and what is. You give meaning to your life and the events in your life by the way you tell yourself about your experiences.

Regardless of the stories that you've been telling yourself about your life and about specific incidents in the past, you can choose to upgrade the level of your stories.

At this moment, you can make a life-enhancing decision. From now on, I will tell myself stories of appreciation and gratitude. Stories of personal growth and self-development. Stories about increasing my confidence, courage, and self-empowerment.

Writing an essay is an effective tool to upgrade the story of your life. You may use the title: "The Story of My Life." In this essay, write down the highlights of your life. Write down some of your best moments. Write down skills and talents that you have already developed. Write down your strengths and positive qualities. Write down dreams, goals, and plans for the future. Write down attitudes that you are in the process of developing.

You don't yet know exactly how the rest of your life will unfold. But you can know what positive qualities and ways of being you want to develop. As you write this down as part of the story of your life, you will be setting a direction for yourself.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself, pp.46-7) [Artscroll.com])

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#156   This Moment is the Ultimate Moment of Your Life Until Now

 

"This moment is the ultimate moment of my life until now." How can you say this? Because this is the moment that you've been practicing for your entire life. Everything you've ever studied and everything you've ever learned is now stored in your brain. The wisdom of your life experiences has reached its highest point (so far) at this very moment.

This moment is made up of all that you've ever learned and done. All the moments of your life have added up to this very moment. So since this moment is so special, make it really special. How do you do that? With your self-talk. With your thoughts. With the way you draw upon all of your skills and talents and wisdom. With the words and the actions your mind tells you are the best for this moment.

Just consider this moment special, and it is. And this is not only true for this moment. Rather, it is true for every single moment, for as long as you live. The present moment is the culmination of your life until that moment.

At this moment and each moment, you get to choose your thoughts, and your words, and your actions. Make wise choices. Make choices that you will look back on later and say, "I am glad that I made those choices."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.53-4) [Artscroll.com])

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#157   Problem Focus Versus Solution Focus

 

Develop the habit of thinking about potential solutions whenever your mind comes up with a problem. "What are some of the ways that I could possibly solve this problem?" is one of the worthy questions to get into the habit of asking yourself.

When you keep your mind focused on solving problems, you save yourself the anxiety you would have experienced if you had focused mostly on problems.

Moreover, when you think about finding solutions, you are more likely to find satisfactory solutions.

Keep your eyes and ears open to reading and hearing about how various people have solved different problems. Think of a list of people who excel at solving problems. Instead of spending an excessively large amount of time obsessing about a problem, ask yourself, "Who is good at solving problems? Let me contact this person." When you can't contact your problem-solving friend immediately, you can gain by asking yourself, "What do I think this person would say to help me solve this problem?"

Thinking about the situation in this way will bring out an aspect of your creativity that otherwise would not have been accessed.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.55-6) [Artscroll.com])

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#158   The Learn Experience Questio

 

Life is full of many learning experiences, also known as mistakes. Ask yourself frequently, "What can I learn from this?" Some people make mistakes and then berate themselves for making those mistakes. They can be especially critical of themselves when they make a similar mistake a second and third time. Some people even say to themselves, "Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again?" This question takes a person in the wrong direction.

It's valuable to recognize when you make a mistake. "That was a mistake." But don't focus on the fact that you keep making the same mistake; instead, the next step is to ask yourself, "What can I learn from this to avoid similar mistakes in the future?"

Don't obsess about your mistakes. Then your mind keeps its focus on what you did wrong and what you don't want to do in the future. Keep your mind on doing the right things in the right ways. Then your mind is focused on what you do want.

When you ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" you are becoming more aware that you are becoming wiser and wiser. That's the mindset that you want for yourself.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.61-2) [Artscroll.com])

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#159   The Right Double Standard

 

It is said in the name of Rabbi Yitzchok Blauser: Trust in the Almighty is a very precious attribute. The Talmud (Sotah 48b) tells us that if a person has enough bread to eat today, he is lacking a degree of trust if he worries about what he will eat tomorrow.

Bear in mind, however, that this applies only to a person working on his own attributes. When it comes to other people, we must be concerned about what they will eat tomorrow... and for many days to come.

(see Ohr Yechezkail, Midos, p.22; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#160   For Peace Of Mind 

 

Frequently, erroneous thoughts and illusions enter a person's mind and disturb his concentration. When you lack peace of mind, you will not be able to study Torah or pray properly. The best advice is to develop the following attitude:

"Want that which your Creator wants for you. Take pleasure in what you have, whether comparatively little or a lot."

Once you adopt this attitude, you will be able to find peace of mind and this will be therapeutic for both your body and soul. You will be able to find success - whatever the particular circumstances and challenges you find yourself in.

(see Rosh - Orchos Chayim, no. 69; Ohr Yechezkail - michtavim, no.106; Gateway to Happiness, p.76)

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#161   Edit Negative Patterns Into Positive Patterns

 

Edit what you say when you speak to yourself. If you find yourself about to say something important in a negative pattern, edit it to a positive pattern.

If someone were about to say to himself, "That was stupid of me," he would be much better off editing this to say, "Be smart" or "Be wise" instead.

Perhaps he really did say or do something stupid. But now that he is aware of this mistake, he would be wise to tell himself how he would prefer to be in the future. Both of these positive self-statements are messages to make smarter and wiser choices and decisions. This is good advice to give to oneself.

If someone were about to say to himself, "There you go again. You are always making these kinds of mistakes," he would be much better off editing this to, "I'm glad that I realize that this was a mistake. I am strongly resolved to speak and act in ways that would be better to speak and act."

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.69-70) [Artscroll.com])

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#162   Self-Conversations That Enable You to Reach Your Important Goals 

 

What is the major difference between people who accomplish and achieve a great deal and people who don't? The answer to this question can make a major difference in your life.

Those who accomplish and achieve have goals and take the actions necessary to reach those goals. In contrast, people without clear goals don't have a target to reach.

Every single person with great accomplishments and achievements has made goals. Many write them down. Some don't. But they are very clear about what they want.

What important goals do you want to reach? If you don't have a clear idea right now, make it your goal to make a clear goal.

One of the most accomplished people I've ever met told me that he decided to write down 101 goals for himself. Since he had so many goals, he was certain that he would reach many of them. And each goal that he reached encouraged him to think that he would be able to reach many more goals. It was amazing to see how he kept finding opportunities and resources that enabled him to reach his most important goals.

Other people might feel overwhelmed by a large number of goals. They might be telling themselves, "There is so much I want to do and there is only a limited amount of time to do it all." For them, a single, relatively easy-to-reach goal might be best. Then they can make another goal that they find easy to reach, and then another one. This way they can build up an inner attitude of, "I am a person who makes and reaches goals." Then they can make larger and larger goals.

Your self-conversations about your goals will either enable you to reach them or will prevent you from reaching them. Regardless of your past self-conversations, right at this moment you can decide, "I will talk to myself in ways that enable me to make and reach important goals."

See yourself reaching your goals. Feel what it will be like when you achieve your worthwhile goals. Take action in the direction of your goals.

Believe that with the Almighty's help you will be able to reach the goals for which you strive.

(from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Conversations With Yourself", pp.72-3) [Artscroll.com])

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#163   Happiness is Less Demanding

 

A major cause of many people's sadness is their lack of attaining things they could live without.

This is ironic. A person demands things because he wishes to live a happier life. But with that very demand, he causes himself much unhappiness. Give up your demand for what you are unable to obtain and you will live a happier life.

(Dubner Magid, Sefer Hamidos - Shaar Hasinah, ch.15; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.177)