Members phkrause Posted October 30, 2015 Author Members Posted October 30, 2015 A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it... Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted October 31, 2015 Author Members Posted October 31, 2015 While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.” Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 2, 2015 Author Members Posted November 2, 2015 A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!" Kevin H 1 Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 3, 2015 Author Members Posted November 3, 2015 My sister asked me to take off her clothes. So I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Take off my skirt.” So I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now take off my bra and panties.” So I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, “I don’t want to catch you wearing my things ever again.” Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 3, 2015 Author Members Posted November 3, 2015 OK, so tell me you weren't worried????? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 5, 2015 Author Members Posted November 5, 2015 An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines." Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 5, 2015 Author Members Posted November 5, 2015 A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in Karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a proffesional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a proffesional wretler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times". Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 5, 2015 Author Members Posted November 5, 2015 Pirate Joke Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 11, 2015 Author Members Posted November 11, 2015 Cinderella Joke Q: What did Cinderella say to the photographer? A: Someday my prints will come. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 24, 2015 Author Members Posted November 24, 2015 Ocean Joke Q: Why is the ocean in a bad mood? A: Because it always has crabs on its bottom. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted November 27, 2015 Author Members Posted November 27, 2015 Thanksgiving Joke Q: What happened to the turkey who got in a fight? A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted December 1, 2015 Author Members Posted December 1, 2015 Match Joke Q: Why don't matches play baseball? A: One strike and they're out! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted December 4, 2015 Author Members Posted December 4, 2015 Baker Joke Q: Why was the baker rich? A: Because she made a lot of dough. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted December 9, 2015 Author Members Posted December 9, 2015 Haunting Joke Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted December 25, 2015 Author Members Posted December 25, 2015 Pencil Box Joke Q: Who's in charge of the pencil box? A: The ruler! Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted December 30, 2015 Author Members Posted December 30, 2015 Nose Joke Q: Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?A: Because it would be a foot Stan 1 Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 1, 2016 Author Members Posted January 1, 2016 Orange Joke Q: What happens when you step on an orange?A: You hurt its peelings dgrimm60 1 Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 5, 2016 Author Members Posted January 5, 2016 Elevator Joke Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?A: "I think I'm coming down with something!" Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Moderators Jeannieb43 Posted January 6, 2016 Moderators Posted January 6, 2016 Q. What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? A. "Close the door, I'm dressing." phkrause 1 Quote Jeannie<br /><br /><br />...Change is inevitable; growth is optional....
Members phkrause Posted January 7, 2016 Author Members Posted January 7, 2016 Bees Joke Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: Because they have honeycombs - See more at: http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/activities-games-and-crafts/sneak-preview-jokes-for-kids?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nl849&mc_eid=79cf97cdfb#sthash.0fvldN59.dpuf Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 7, 2016 Author Members Posted January 7, 2016 Bees Joke Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: Because they have honeycombs dgrimm60 1 Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Members phkrause Posted January 12, 2016 Author Members Posted January 12, 2016 Penguin Joke Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?A: Lost! dgrimm60 1 Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
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